F Train, 1 pm
Middle- Aged woman starts with the disclaimer, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to disturb you but I have an important message for you. This isn't another story about black boys dealing drugs. This isn't another story about hispanic boys dealing drugs."
This intro immediately got the attention of the car. The man across from Sujan and me looked at her and looked like he was about to get out of his seat and beat the woman up. But then, he relaxed when he heard the real message of her speech.
She continued, "This is about the CIA and how the CIA controls the drug trade."
I've heard this conspiracy theory before and maybe it's true. The CIA are fucking shady, you know. The guy across from us starts nodding his head in agreement.
"The CIA owns all the heroin and cocaine in the world. The CIA creates all the crack cocaine in the United States."
Really? All of it? Interesting. The guy across the way cries out, "That's right! That's right!"
"CIAgents are going to be sued. The CIA must be taken down. A former CIAgent has left the CIA and is going to uncover the CIA's plot. We're sick of going door to door like this and pretending we're Jehovah's Witnesses. You may think I'm a crazy woman, but mark my words. Let the CIA know that I'm uncovering the truth about the CIA. Tell the CIA my name."
And with that, she was gone at the next stop. She never did tell us her name. Hmmm... how am I going to tell my local CIAgent about her then?
2 days ago