It is well worth reading the entire thing, but if you don't have the time, here is a snippet of his platform:
--If elected, he will receive a sex change operation live on the school Commons.
--Voting for Kembrew will insure free passage into the afterlife of your choice.
--To alleviate pedestrian traffic problems, he will set up a complex system of ropes and pulleys linking academic buildings and dorms.
--Lastly, he will require University President Ron Carrier to wear a foam rubber lobster costume to all public events.
Phil's VP campaign poster.
Check out his other pranks too. There are a lot of JMU ones on there. The Ron Carrier one is priceless. The Battle of the Bands one is also great. And, of course, my favorite one - the push to replace the Duke Dog with a three eyed pig with antlers because "it is degrading to celebrate a dog that yearns to be free, but can’t …" and "it seems sexist to honor an aggressive, masculine dog wearing a crown--a symbol of historical patriarchal oppression."
This prank was picked up by many news sources around the area, both print and TV. Kembrew includes some amazing television footage as well where he proclaims that pigs are smarter than dogs and that the "third eye represents wisdom and the antlers represent multiculturalism stretching out."
And if you have been missing the P.C. Ballroom, make sure to watch some of the videos shot there during the ridiculous Battle of the Bands where they had submitted another band's tape in order to get accepted.
In case you were wondering, Kimbrew and Phil lost the SGA election but still received 15% of the vote. I'm proud to say that I was part of that 15%.
From the Roanoke Times
And while I had pranks on my mind, I ran across an article in today's Times about a man who puts up his own art in museums. The following is taken from an article I found on the Wooster Collective website.
An art Web site called www.woostercollective.com has posted pictures of the artist -- wearing an Inspector Clouseau-style overcoat, a hat and a fake beard and nose -- hanging up his work at the four museums and describing how he did it.
Speaking by telephone from an undisclosed location in Britain, Banksy said he conducted all four operations on March 13, helped by accomplices who filmed him and provided distractions where necessary.
"They staged a gay tiff (lovers' quarrel), shouting very loudly and obnoxiously," said the artist, declining to give his real name or any personal details beyond his occupation as a professional painter and decorator.
It is not the first time he has staged such stunts. Last year he smuggled work into the Louvre in Paris and London's Tate, attracting attention in the British media.
"My sister inspired me to do it. She was throwing away loads of my pictures one day and I asked her why. She said 'It's not like they're going to be hanging in the Louvre."'
He took that as a challenge. "I thought why wait until I'm dead," he said.
And from the Times:
Marc Schiller, a founder of the Web site, said the pictures were sent to him yesterday along with a statement from the artist that said: "This historic occasion has less to do with finally being embraced by the fine-art establishment and is more about the judicious use of a fake beard and some high-strength glue."
Mr. Schiller said the artist had returned to London and would not consent to a telephone interview. But in an e-mail exchange yesterday afternoon, conducted with Mr. Schiller's help, Banksy - who prefers to be called not an artist, but a "quality vandal" - said he decided to invade those four New York museums for a simple reason.
"I've wandered round a lot of art galleries thinking, 'I could have done that,' so it seemed only right that I should try," he wrote. "These galleries are just trophy cabinets for a handful of millionaires. The public never has any real say in what art they see."
He said he had entered all of the museums during normal visitors' hours. Asked how he was able to hang his works without being noticed by museum guards or security cameras, Banksy responded rather opaquely. "You just have to glue on a fake beard and move with the times," he said.
He added that he had thought about storming the Guggenheim, but was too intimidated. "I would have had to appear between two Picassos," he wrote. "And I'm not good enough to get away with that."
A visitor at the Brooklyn Museum checks out Banksy's handiwork.