This is a man who approached a teammate's locker last month, without a stitch of clothing, and requested help in finding his razor. Where he hid it might not be suitable for print.
This is a man who jumped into Sammy Sosa's lap as the startled outfielder sat with reporters in the Orioles' dugout, referring to him as "Sammy Claus." A man who participated in a doughnut-eating contest with fans before a game in a Busch Stadium parking lot.
"They gave me powdered doughnuts," he said. "I couldn't breathe."
A man who, tired of the way players scribble initials or uniform numbers on their caps and spikes to honor a friend, once wrote A-Z on one side of his Montreal Expos cap and 1-99 on the other.
"This way," he said, "I've got everyone covered."
Said Kline: "I'd do different skits. It was like Comedy Central over there. Me and [reliever] Ray King - one white boy, one black boy - just ripping on each other. It was perfect."
Born in Sunbury, Pa., Kline lives in nearby Lewisburg, where he has been an assistant coach of a high school wrestling team since 1997. Not that he ever wrestled, but why quibble over details?
This is also a man who likes to spend his free time in prison.
Two of them (his brothers) are guards in a maximum security prison in Lewisburg.
"They wanted to stay home and take care of mom and dad and the rest of the family, and I was fortunate to be the last of the Mohicans and sneak out," Kline said. "I know everybody in the joint. Every year I go back and see some of the inmates and some of the guards. We have a good time."
And best yet, he gave the ultimate baseball "genius" the finger last year during a game!
Kline caught some heat last season for making an obscene gesture in the direction of Cardinals manager Tony La Russa after warming up and not entering the game. Thought to be safely hidden in the bullpen, Kline was busted when a television camera recorded his gesture.
"That was just a mistake at the time," he said. "You don't realize at the time how bad it's going to affect you. You never think you're going to get caught. He didn't even know I did it.
"I just told him I was frustrated at the time and he said, 'Well, next time you go out and give up three runs, I'll give you the finger.' "
La Russa remembered his promise to Kline when they were reunited before a recent exhibition game. From the visiting dugout, La Russa made eye contact with Kline and flipped him off.
"It was great," Kline said. "I loved it."
Kline used to amuse La Russa with his impression of the manager, complete with glasses and strands of hair sticking out of his cap. "It better be good," La Russa once told him, "or you're going on every [spring] road trip."
I'm looking forward to seeing him as an Oriole this year. It is too bad that Angelos wouldn't let his general managers sign any other prominent free agent, but hey, at least they traded for Sammy Claus!
And then I stumbled onto an amazing website dedicated to Kline, complete with Steve Kline time machine comics with this disclaimer:
"Steve Kline and the Time Machine" is a poorly written and poorly made comic book that shows the amazing adventures of Steve Kline and his time machine. For legal purposes Kline-Time must acknowledge that it is not 100% sure that Steve Kline has a time machine or any type of superhuman powers, which may be depicted in the comic.
This is one of my favorite panels. It is from "Steve Kline vs. Dinosaurs."
The most recent comic is called "The Case of the Stolen DVD Player, Part I." Now that Steve is no longer a Cardinal, I wonder who will foil the dastardly villain behind such an insidious act.