Before Thanksgiving, the third grade held its annual flea market/bakesale to raise money for needy Brooklyn kids. Jelani set up the sparkling display bucket of blondes.
This year's event was marked by two very interesting occurrences.
1. Fresh off the thrill of purchasing a bag of over one hundred marbles, Sassy New Favorite immediately proceeded to spill the entire bag's contents all over the art room floor. All 35 kids in the room instantly stopped what they were doing and a stunned silence enveloped us all as we stared in shocked disbelief. After five seconds of indecision, I ordered a cease and desist on all brownie and/or Monopoly purchases to assist in the cleanup. Within thirty seconds, we had picked up most of the fallen troops.
2. Deadpan Wit came up with a brilliant and easy way to raise money. "Fuck wasting your time buying that dusty old crap from your closet!" he called out - or something along those lines. His pitch? Give him a quarter and he'll talk to you for a moment. The first unwitting kid coughed up the dough and Deadpan Wit looked him dead in the eye and said, "Hello." That's it, just a hello. Somehow this emerging capitalist scored two bucks for the cause. And because of his quiet charm, not one customer left unsatisfied.
Either that or these private school kids don't understand the value of a quarter.