Gunner Palace

Other than the fact that the digital video aspect of this looked terrible and the filmmaker’s narration was pretty annoying, this movie is well worth seeing. It is sad to me that a good documentary like this will not be seen by as many people as it should be. Network television doesn’t have the courage to broadcast this kind of film. Hell, they even get in trouble for trying to show Saving Private Ryan .

This reminded me of a recent Frontline episode that followed a unit in Iraq. But that was on PBS and was only preaching to the converted. For the most part, these soldiers are not partisan in their beliefs. They are there to survive and to try to make sense of what they are doing. They are young, naive, courageous, smart. They are fascinating to listen to as they expound on why they joined the military, joke about the crappy protective armor they are given (“The shrapnel will stay inside of you instead of going through you”), and show off their rapping skills.

So why isn’t this going to be seen by more people? This kind of film needs to get The Day After treatment. It should be an event. Millions of Americans should sit down one evening and watch it on one of the major networks (Fox?) and then discuss it. Obviously, this won’t happen. For all the talk about how liberal the media is, the networks would never touch something like this. And that is sad because this film isn’t even anti-Bush, it is merely a story of soldiers.

Granted, maybe what the filmmaker left on the editing room floor would have painted a more rosy picture of the situation and thus been a completely different film. Perhaps. And maybe the filmmaker doesn’t want this seen on the networks yet because it might not mean as much money to him or boost his career in the way that a theater run would. Although what documentary filmmaker other than Michael Moore actually gets rich from his/ her films?

And speaking of Michael Moore, why was he going to be offering Fahrenheit 911 as a pay-per-view event right before the election before the plan fell through? If he really wanted to make a difference, shouldn’t he be offering it to one of the networks for free so more people could see it? Obviously, I don’t know what I’m really talking about here. I’m sure there are all sorts of legal reasons why he didn’t do that. Or could it be that he cares more about his career and his financial well-being than getting his message out to as many people as possible?

How I Spent Monday Evening and Early Tuesday Morning

Coffee Flats draft!




In my other leagues, we have a trophy that goes to the champion each year. We are so nerdy that we update the trophy each year with the name of the winner emblazoned in glory.

Recently, Mooney spotted a punk rock girl in the East Village walking down the street with this trophy. He asked her where she bought it and she immediately offered it to him for five bucks. But Mooney is always looking for a good bargain. So he offered four. She agreed and Coffee Flats acquired a trophy.


The first place ribbon came as an added bonus.


Someone from the Minor Champs of 1980 is very sad to be missing this fine trophy. But as the defending Coffee Flats champion, I get to display it for all to see during this coming season. Does anyone know where to get a trophy engraved in Brooklyn?

And I still have three more drafts this weekend! Sadly none of my second divsion teams will be taking back home any other trophies. But at least Apes and Handwashings will both be taking trophies north of the Mason Dixon line this weekend.

I Love This Clock!

Thank you Jeremy.

One More Week to Listen to Music Before Baseball Season Ruins Everything

Youthlarge Brought These Home
The Mountain Goats - The Sunset Tree, 2005
I really like this album. It is easily the best thing that John Darnielle has put out since moving to 4AD and just might be his strongest work since 2000’s The Coroner’s Gambit although I do have a soft spot for All Hail West Texas. Darnielle’s lyrics are incredible as usual and this time, quite heartbreaking. Apparently, a lot of this record is autobiographical about being an abused child.

And for what I feel might be the first time on a Mt. Goats record, the other instruments other than Darnielle’s guitar feel right. Most of his songs in the past have been just his striking voice and his guitar. As he has tried to add more instruments throughout the years, it has felt forced and sometimes unnecessary. But this time, every instrument is important and fits seamlessly into the song. On the past few records, I’ve hoped for a more sparse sound but on this album, I couldn’t imagine the songs any other way. A great record.

Electrelane - Axes, 2005
This is a very strange band. Last year’s The Power Out was an excellent piece of arty Stereolab/ VU inspired drone pop complete with a full choir on one amazing song “The Valleys.” So what to make of this album? It isn’t all instrumental but it almost feels like it is. If the last album was the first VU album then this one is White Light, White Heat. Less accessible, but just as good. And the choir makes another otherwordly appearance! I want the choir on more of their songs!

Dressy Bessy - Electrified, 2005
I really like their last two records but there is something off-putting about their new one. As Youthlarge pointed out, her voice is so cute, but it sounds all tough and weird on this new album. It kind of feels overproduced in a “Let’s get on some soundtracks” kind of way. And sure enough, they have a song in that new Jimmy Fallon flick.



The National - Alligator, 2005
Youthlarge loves this album. Some of it is very catchy. Some of it sounds a little too Stephin Merritty to me. Not bad overall. The sound of tomorrow's indie rock fetish. Out very very soon. Be prepared.

Sleater- Kinney - The Woods, 2005
I haven’t listened to this all that much yet but I can't say that I love it. Corin is more yelpy than ever and their melodic chops seem less impressive than ever. Still, I always seem to end up coming around to their records. But none of them are really that great overall. And this band really doesn’t need to record songs that hover around the eleven minute mark. This is a band in dire need of a Jeremy Best of Makeover.

Mouse on Mars - Iaora Tahiti, 1995
Ah yes, these guys. I love how they can make what is inherently a cold sounding form of music sound so damn warm.

Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak, 2005
Hard Working Larry summed this band up well. The look of the band was completely cultivated before they even thought about what kind of music they wanted to make. 20 years ago, this band would have sounded like Night Ranger.



The Album Leaf - In a Safe Place, 2004
Post Sigur Ros snoozefest. Although to be fair- the one song that the dude from the aformentioned glacial rockers sings on is quite good.

Mogwai - Government Commissions: BBC Sessions, 1996-2003, 2005
A nice starting point for people who might think, “Who is this Mogwai and where should I start?” Mellow at times, melodic at others, some vocals, and some loud loud loud oh my god turn down the volume type solidness on this fine release.

The Concretes - The Concretes, 2004
If you ever wondered what Mazzy Star would sound like with a few more hours of sleep each night, wonder no more.

Bloc Party - E.P., 2004
Between this band, The Dears, and TV on the Radio, can a Fine Young Cannibals reunion be too far behind? This band has got some good tunes but I’m not sure how long they’ll stick with me.

M.I.A. - Arular, 2005
The blog elite might like this but the blog elite that I really care about - the Balgavys, the Apes, and the Handwashings out there, all gave me a hard time a few weeks ago when I professed my love for this album. Holy moly. I’m lucky that I have a wife that comes home with this stuff so I can give it a chance. The beats, the politics, the accent, the melodies, the sexiness- I love this record. Ignore it and you ignore the past, present, and future, baby!



The Futureheads - The Futureheads, 2004
Some people say this band sounds like early XTC. Some say they sound like The Jam. Musically, they are a definite cross of the two. But vocally, they sound just like The Jam - a lightweight version of The Jam. I’ve never been one to slag a band just because they wear their influences on their sleeves. But there are two criteria for me- 1. Is the band emulating a certain sound or completely emulating just one band? 2. Are the songs any good?

Obviously, question two is the more important one. Obviously, rock music is historically about ripping off other bands and adding your own thing to it. The Exploding Hearts are the perfect example of a band who lives up to both ideals. Of course, they sound like other bands, but what bands exactly? They have emulated a sound, not just one band. And anyone who says that their songs aren’t good clearly does not like that style of music.

Sadly, to me, this band does not have enough good songs to warrant their next big thing tag. Although they are worlds better than Hot Hot Heat.

Yo La Tengo - Prisoners of Love, 2005
Interesting selection of songs on this best of. But as I was listening to this two disc set, I kept thinking that even some of their best songs don’t sound quite as good taken out of the context of the original record. And I begin to worry about this: How many bands put out best of records and then end up completely sucking immediately afterwards? I’m not talking about bands who switched labels and then had their old label put out a best of compilation, a la R.E.M’s Eponymous. Although clearly their best days were behind them once they moved to Warner’s but that is another argument for another time.

I really want to know. How many bands put out best of comps and then end up still being great afterwards? But that last Yo La Tengo record wasn’t that hot anyway so I suppose they are on the downslide regardless. Still, I wonder ...

LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem, 2005
Two CDs- one is the first full length from Mr. LCD. The second is a comp of his 6 singles. I had never heard the three year old “Losing My Edge” before and it knocked me for a loop with its brilliance. Imagine the snootiness of “Cut Your Hair” (A special new band!) and multiply it be a million. Under the guise of not knowing what the kids are into, he pokes fun at the hipsters who have outpaced him. But he was there when Suicide was practicing in their loft space. He was there when Cpt. Beefheart was getting super weird. Or so he claims. I love the lines “I hear that you and your band have sold your guitars and bought turntables. I HEAR that you and your band have sold its turntables and bought guitars. I hear that you and all of your friends are more relevant than me and all of my friends.”

Some of the early singles are a litttle too dancy and repetitive for me. The full length has some amazing songs on it and I love the videos I’ve seen on NY Noise. He’s very good at emulating other bands. In particular, the last track sounds just like Warm Jets era Eno. Interesting stuff. If Six Finger Satellite were around now, they would be quite the Williamsburg hipsters.

Devendra Banhart - Nino Rojo, 2004
About a year ago, I had been reading all the good press about Mr. Banhart and I was intrigued. Youthlarge got us in to a show of his at Southpaw. We arrived after he had already started his set. He was sitting on the stage barefoot playing songs on his acoustic guitar. And he sounded and looked like he was retarded. What the fuck? We stayed about ten minutes before taking off. I decided that I hated this asshole.

But when I visited Jeremy last month, he played me this record. And I kind of liked it. I love the fact that the first song is an Ella Jenkins cover. He has some really great songwriting chops, this Devendra. But he also is really annoying sometimes too. I suppose I like the songs where he isn’t singing like Tiny Tim or like he has marbles in his mouth. But everytime I think I like him, all I have to do is take a look at a picture of him and be reminded why I initially hated him.



I Actually Bought These With My Hard Earned Cash
Black Mountain - Black Mountain, 2005
This band is all over the place. 70’s craziness. Melodic good stuff. I don’t know. This is a CD that I bought based soley on Pitchfork’s review. And they don’t even seem to know how to describe this record. The review states, “When Black Mountain evoke glue-sniffing shredders of yesteryear such as Blue Cheer and Led Zeppelin, their technique falls nearer to Galaxie 500 and the Velvet Underground, who forsook showmanship and dug deep in search of music's fundamental soul.” What the fuck does that mean?

Roxy Music - Roxy Music, 1972
This is one of those CDs that I heard in a record store and had to immediately purchase it. I’d always heard about this band but never really listened to them much. And I had no idea what I was missing. But now I do. And I’m a better man for it. If you like the early solid Brian Eno stuff, do yourself a favor and buy this.

Gifts
Matt Sweeney and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Superwolf, 2005
Let me tell you about a friend of mine named Will. We used to be close friends. I stayed up late at night listening to his tales of woe and dirty stories. I began to grow up and so did he. He began to branch out. First on his own and then with another outift. But we all knew that no matter who he surrounded himself with, it was always just good ol’ Will O.

And then he settled down, although it seemed rocky there for awhile. And take a look at him now! He’s been Bonnie Prince longer than he was ever a Palace Brother. But we have kind of grown apart over the years. Is it me? Is it him? I don’t know. Last I heard from him, he was up to usual brilliant tricks. Hell, so damn brilliant he is, that even Johnny Cash wanted a piece of him a few years back.

You know how sometimes you drift away from someone until you get some news from old friends that you should get back in touch? And then you do? And it is just as good as old times, hell maybe even better. Because you have grown up and so has your friend. Oh don’t get me wrong, he’s still fucked up and likes to say naughy things but something about meeting up with your old friend just feels right. I present to you Superwolf.

Brian Wilson - Smile, 2004
Other than the fact that I wish his voice could sound as angelic, tender, and heartbreaking as it used to, this album is amazing. His voice still sounds great - just older. The production is amazing, apparently they used the exact same production values that were used for the original recordings. And the story behind the album really makes the whole thing a triumph. 35 years too late to be as groundbreaking as it should have been but quite impressive nonetheless.

A Milkshake Made For Two
Jeremy’s most recent mix for me. All 50’s and early 60’s all the time. Sock hops, ice cream socials, and handjobs in the backseats of cars. Amazing stuff.



Clinic - Winchester Cathedral, 2004
After the promise of their early singles and their first full length Internal Wrangler, it seemed that this band was gonna tear shit up for a good long time. And then they put out their next two records. And while quite good in their own right, neither lives up to the holy shit promise of earlier years. Ain’t that the way for most of us though? If you liked Walking With Thee, you’ll like this one. If you didn’t, don't bother.

Bob Dylan - Live 1975: The Rolling Thunder Revue, 2002
I am astounded at how brilliant this double CD is. Holy shit. Dylan and his travelling band of merrymakers and musical hangers-on toured around the country sometimes in whiteface performing their minstrel songs for the converted. Songs from that era that I had always kind of liked - like many from Desire really come alive in a way they don’t on the studio version. Truly unbelievable stuff.



Johnny Cash - American IV: The Man Comes Around, 2002
What a swan song! Every song is drenched in the thoughts of mortality. He makes every song his own. The warmth of his voice fills the room and warms my heart. Everytime I hear the last song "We'll Meet Again", I get a lump in my throat.

Coming Soon: Malkmus vs. Bachmann

My Dad Used to Be the Mayor of Shoe Town

Right before spring break, one of my favorite students of all time told me that she was heading to Disney World for part of her vacation. I told her to say hi to Goofy for me. Why? Because I'm the son of Stone Groove, that is why. When you grow up with a dad who constantly says dumb things all of the time (check the title of this entry), you get stuck in a rut.

After about a week, I got an e-mail from her dad with this picture.


Youthlarge will back me up - I laughed way too long upon opening this attachment.

In the e-mail, she wrote, "Feel free to call me with any questions."

Jimmy Ringo!

If you ever find yourself hating movies, I have a cure for you.


Once Rafael Palmeiro is finished with his playing career, he might want to try his hand at playing Gregory Peck's role in the remake.

Quote of the Day

Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Darren Oliver on why he had to get off the mound yesterday after a swarm of bees enveloped the field apparently attracted to the coconut oil in his hair gel.

"I love this game," Oliver said, "but I like myself a little bit more."

Attention JMU Alumni (Or Those Who Love Them)

I'd recently been thinking of the crazy SGA president race at JMU during my freshman year. For some reason, I thought it was Soft Skull Press founder Sander Hicks who was behind the whole caper. But instead it was Kembrew Mcleod and Phil Sweeney of Blast Off Country Style fame. I found his amazing website last night and found a full description of the caper.

It is well worth reading the entire thing, but if you don't have the time, here is a snippet of his platform:

--If elected, he will receive a sex change operation live on the school Commons.
--Voting for Kembrew will insure free passage into the afterlife of your choice.
--To alleviate pedestrian traffic problems, he will set up a complex system of ropes and pulleys linking academic buildings and dorms.
--Lastly, he will require University President Ron Carrier to wear a foam rubber lobster costume to all public events.

Phil's VP campaign poster.

Check out his other pranks too. There are a lot of JMU ones on there. The Ron Carrier one is priceless. The Battle of the Bands one is also great. And, of course, my favorite one - the push to replace the Duke Dog with a three eyed pig with antlers because "it is degrading to celebrate a dog that yearns to be free, but can’t …" and "it seems sexist to honor an aggressive, masculine dog wearing a crown--a symbol of historical patriarchal oppression."

This prank was picked up by many news sources around the area, both print and TV. Kembrew includes some amazing television footage as well where he proclaims that pigs are smarter than dogs and that the "third eye represents wisdom and the antlers represent multiculturalism stretching out."

And if you have been missing the P.C. Ballroom, make sure to watch some of the videos shot there during the ridiculous Battle of the Bands where they had submitted another band's tape in order to get accepted.

In case you were wondering, Kimbrew and Phil lost the SGA election but still received 15% of the vote. I'm proud to say that I was part of that 15%.


From the Roanoke Times

And while I had pranks on my mind, I ran across an article in today's Times about a man who puts up his own art in museums. The following is taken from an article I found on the Wooster Collective website.

An art Web site called www.woostercollective.com has posted pictures of the artist -- wearing an Inspector Clouseau-style overcoat, a hat and a fake beard and nose -- hanging up his work at the four museums and describing how he did it.

Speaking by telephone from an undisclosed location in Britain, Banksy said he conducted all four operations on March 13, helped by accomplices who filmed him and provided distractions where necessary.

"They staged a gay tiff (lovers' quarrel), shouting very loudly and obnoxiously," said the artist, declining to give his real name or any personal details beyond his occupation as a professional painter and decorator.

It is not the first time he has staged such stunts. Last year he smuggled work into the Louvre in Paris and London's Tate, attracting attention in the British media.

"My sister inspired me to do it. She was throwing away loads of my pictures one day and I asked her why. She said 'It's not like they're going to be hanging in the Louvre."'

He took that as a challenge. "I thought why wait until I'm dead," he said.

And from the Times:

Marc Schiller, a founder of the Web site, said the pictures were sent to him yesterday along with a statement from the artist that said: "This historic occasion has less to do with finally being embraced by the fine-art establishment and is more about the judicious use of a fake beard and some high-strength glue."

Mr. Schiller said the artist had returned to London and would not consent to a telephone interview. But in an e-mail exchange yesterday afternoon, conducted with Mr. Schiller's help, Banksy - who prefers to be called not an artist, but a "quality vandal" - said he decided to invade those four New York museums for a simple reason.

"I've wandered round a lot of art galleries thinking, 'I could have done that,' so it seemed only right that I should try," he wrote. "These galleries are just trophy cabinets for a handful of millionaires. The public never has any real say in what art they see."

He said he had entered all of the museums during normal visitors' hours. Asked how he was able to hang his works without being noticed by museum guards or security cameras, Banksy responded rather opaquely. "You just have to glue on a fake beard and move with the times," he said.

He added that he had thought about storming the Guggenheim, but was too intimidated. "I would have had to appear between two Picassos," he wrote. "And I'm not good enough to get away with that."

A visitor at the Brooklyn Museum checks out Banksy's handiwork.

Don't Major League Players Get a Sizeable Daily Meal Allowance?

He's young, rich, good looking, and a budding superstar. But David Wright misses his old pal Joe McEwing who was recently released by the Mets. Four or five times a week, Wright would go over to McEwing's place for some home cooked grub whipped up by Super Joe's wife.

Now that Joe is gone, Wright doesn't know what he's going to do! Chris Woodward has offered to have him over for dinner. and Doug Mientkiewicz has taken up the daily greeting of "Morning, Sunshine," to the impressionable young third baseman.

But what is Wright going to do on a daily basis for food?

"The hardest part about it is not actually cooking for yourself. It's cleaning up afterward," Wright said. "That's something that I'm not a big fan of. I like to just eat. I'd always give Joey the token offer of doing the dishes. I'd know Julia would say no, so I would ask anyway. She would always do the dishes.

"It's not so much the actual cooking. It's the actual cleaning up afterward."

A man after my own heart! Although I don't like cooking either.

The Stars and Stripes Forever!

About a month ago, the powers that be at my school decided to fly the American flag in front of our school. I felt strange that my first thought was that we were once again being railroaded into something by our headstrong interim head of school. He is the kind of guy who likes to boast about how he pulled himself up from his boot straps. Does that make him a Republican? Maybe, maybe not, but I'd be surprised if he wasn't.

So the flag made me think that this was clearly a partisan statement. And that made me angry. But was it a partisan statement? Don't we live in the United States? Shouldn't we fly the flag?

I know that the flag means different things to different people. For some people, it represents supporting Bush. For some people, it represents the genocide of Native Americans, slavery, hundreds of years of racism, and generally not living up to the ideals that we say our country is founded on. For some people, it means taking pride in our country's ideals. For some people, it is merely our flag.

My most recent experience with the flag is seeing my grandfather's coffin draped in it and then later in the day watching a soldier who was fighting back tears hand it to my grandmother immediately after listening to an incredibly heartbreaking version of Taps played by another soldier. I assume that song always is heartbreaking but I had never really heard it at a funeral other than on TV and in the movies.

My grandfather was proud of this country. He knew it wasn't perfect but he loved it nonetheless. It is sad to me that we are at a point in this country's history that the mere display of the flag brings up such negative emotions for so many people. Five years ago, this wouldn't have been the case.

For more on this topic, check this post from Unwellness. She was very upset by the whole thing at first and has some interesting things to say about it. However, I'm still upset that she didn't take my idea that she should buy an American flag just to burn it in front of the school at 3 pm dismissal - just to make a point. That would have been amazing.

Hanging With the Inmates

Before today, I had merely thought of Steve Kline as a good left-handed reliever; albeit one with a filthy baseball cap. It turns out that he is also quite a prankster. From today's Baltimore Sun:

This is a man who approached a teammate's locker last month, without a stitch of clothing, and requested help in finding his razor. Where he hid it might not be suitable for print.

This is a man who jumped into Sammy Sosa's lap as the startled outfielder sat with reporters in the Orioles' dugout, referring to him as "Sammy Claus." A man who participated in a doughnut-eating contest with fans before a game in a Busch Stadium parking lot.

"They gave me powdered doughnuts," he said. "I couldn't breathe."

A man who, tired of the way players scribble initials or uniform numbers on their caps and spikes to honor a friend, once wrote A-Z on one side of his Montreal Expos cap and 1-99 on the other.

"This way," he said, "I've got everyone covered."

Said Kline: "I'd do different skits. It was like Comedy Central over there. Me and [reliever] Ray King - one white boy, one black boy - just ripping on each other. It was perfect."

Born in Sunbury, Pa., Kline lives in nearby Lewisburg, where he has been an assistant coach of a high school wrestling team since 1997. Not that he ever wrestled, but why quibble over details?

This is also a man who likes to spend his free time in prison.

Two of them (his brothers) are guards in a maximum security prison in Lewisburg.

"They wanted to stay home and take care of mom and dad and the rest of the family, and I was fortunate to be the last of the Mohicans and sneak out," Kline said. "I know everybody in the joint. Every year I go back and see some of the inmates and some of the guards. We have a good time."

And best yet, he gave the ultimate baseball "genius" the finger last year during a game!

Kline caught some heat last season for making an obscene gesture in the direction of Cardinals manager Tony La Russa after warming up and not entering the game. Thought to be safely hidden in the bullpen, Kline was busted when a television camera recorded his gesture.

"That was just a mistake at the time," he said. "You don't realize at the time how bad it's going to affect you. You never think you're going to get caught. He didn't even know I did it.

"I just told him I was frustrated at the time and he said, 'Well, next time you go out and give up three runs, I'll give you the finger.' "

La Russa remembered his promise to Kline when they were reunited before a recent exhibition game. From the visiting dugout, La Russa made eye contact with Kline and flipped him off.

"It was great," Kline said. "I loved it."

Kline used to amuse La Russa with his impression of the manager, complete with glasses and strands of hair sticking out of his cap. "It better be good," La Russa once told him, "or you're going on every [spring] road trip."

I'm looking forward to seeing him as an Oriole this year. It is too bad that Angelos wouldn't let his general managers sign any other prominent free agent, but hey, at least they traded for Sammy Claus!

And then I stumbled onto an amazing website dedicated to Kline, complete with Steve Kline time machine comics with this disclaimer:

"Steve Kline and the Time Machine" is a poorly written and poorly made comic book that shows the amazing adventures of Steve Kline and his time machine. For legal purposes Kline-Time must acknowledge that it is not 100% sure that Steve Kline has a time machine or any type of superhuman powers, which may be depicted in the comic.

This is one of my favorite panels. It is from "Steve Kline vs. Dinosaurs."



The most recent comic is called "The Case of the Stolen DVD Player, Part I." Now that Steve is no longer a Cardinal, I wonder who will foil the dastardly villain behind such an insidious act.

I Give Up

After four episodes of The Contender, I have given up on it. Handwashings mentions how crappy the show is in his most recent post. And piling even more dirt on the grave, the NY Times buries the show today.

Burnett & Company have chosen the cast as they may have selected actors for a youth-targeted drama that the Federal Communications Commission would love: carefully, so as not to offend. There isn't one obnoxious guy or a Naseem Hamed-like blowhard in the lot. Rocky Balboa had rougher edges than any of these guys. He certainly had worse clothes, worse elocution and a crummier apartment.

The prurience that might have been produced through the omnipresent microphones and cameras has yielded minor league trash talk and semiprivate family moments. Burnett's intended pasteurization of boxing - part of his attempt to clean up the sport's systemic corruption, a task for which he and one of his producers obtained promotional licenses in Nevada and California - ignores the historic truth that boxing's appeal rests with its resistance to cleanliness.

"The Contender" plays up the fairness of who fights whom; there are no predatory promoters roaming the ring before and after bouts; one boxer doesn't make the other one wait interminably before leaving his locker room, and venal villains whom viewers would want to see knocked out have not emerged.

Burnett temporarily rescued the boxers from the grittiness of the lives we are told they lived and moved them on up to a deluxe communal loft above the show's gym. The sweating and striving in grimy gyms have been smoothed over - how many club fighters chum with Stallone and Leonard? - so the hardest tasks facing the boxers are the dopey challenges that determine who will fight each week in bouts taped last summer.

Good riddance.

History Lesson, Part II

With a nod to the subject matter from a recent Time for Kids and, of course, to D. Boon, I present an impromptu lesson on two current items in the news.



And for the record, I'm not offering any beer to any readers on this one - this one is way too easy to give away free beverages.

More Please

Everyone who knows me knows that when I give a mix tape/ CD to someone, the thing that makes me the most excited is feedback. My absolute favorite thing to receive is a report card. Throughout the years, many friends have indulged me in this silly request. With that in mind, here is the report card for the CD that I made for a former student of mine,, currently in the fourth grade.

It looks like she is a fan of the indie rock of the mid 90's except for Guided By Voices! And I feel badly because it seems that I somehow guilted her into liking the Raincoats after her initial reaction of "This is terrible and they can't sing or play their instruments." Anyway, enjoy.

Your Music Report Card

1. Three Girl Rhumba- Wire: A I like person’s voice. I like the guitar rhythm too.

2. Judy is a Punk- Ramones: B+ Not enough melody.

3. Echos Myron- Guided By Voices: C I just don’t like it.

4. Big Dipper- Built to Spill: A+ Melody, guitar, voice. All good.

5. Float On- Modest Mouse: A+ COMPLETELY AWESOME GUITAR LINE! And the guys voice.

6. Cut your hair- Pavement: A Nothing in particular. I just like it, but why are they talking about hair?

7. Silver Lining- Beulah: A COOL INTRO. Good words nice voice

8. Know your Onion- The Shins: A I just like it.

9. All For Swinging you around- New P's: A- Cool intro.

10. Making Time-Creation: A Cool guitar, good voice,

11. She’s not there-Zombies: C I don’t like it.

12. Lola- Raincoats: B I know I used to really hate it but now I think it at least wins a B. The kinks version is much better though.

13.Cannonball- The Breeders: A Really cool intro. Good guitar.

14.Take me out- Franz Ferdinand: B+ The beginning is okay but as it keeps going I don’t like it anymore.

15. I’m a Pretender- Exploding Hearts: A I just really like it. Really cool solo.

16. Me and Mia- Ted Leo : A Good voice.

17. Radio, Radio- Elvis Costello: A I already knew this song. Cool intro.

18. The Sound of Settling- Death Cab For Cutie: B+ I like the beat. But what a weird name for a band, Death cab for Cutie

19. Sweet Jane- Velvet Underground: A Weird intro good words and good voice. Everything is pretty good.

20. Once in a life time- Talking Heads: B+ It’s okay.

21. Needle in the camel’s eye- Brian Eno: b+ It’s okay.

22. Debaser- Pixies: A - Cool intro again. Cool ending.

23. Words and guitar- Sleater Kinney: B It’s a bit creepy.

24. Harnessed in Slums- Archers of Loaf: B+ I like the voice. I can’t tell at all what he’s saying. Cool solo if that is guitar.

25. Precision Auto- Superchunk: B+ Nice and fast.

26. Someday- The Strokes: A Good voice. Cool guitar.

For those interested, Sophie's band will be playing at Two Boots Brooklyn in April. Included in the set is a Ramones cover- "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" - I guess that song has enough melody for her tastes.

Anyone Want to Go In On This With Me?

Important Real Estate News:

Ex-Met Selling Bachelor Pad

Keith Hernandez, the former Mets first baseman, who was married on Valentine's Day, is asking $2.495 million for his New York apartment at 255 East 49th Street.

The swanky apartment has two bedrooms, two balconies and a den done in a jungle motif, with zebra-striped pillows and a wet bar, according to the broker, Dee Downing of the Corcoran Group.

Mr. Hernandez and his wife, Kai, will live in Florida, although they may later buy a pied-à-terre in the city, Ms. Downing said.

Geez, now that the country's most lecherous bachelor is no longer available, I wonder who will be the next to fall?

Amps and Ramps: Jason's Party in Long Island City or Freaks and Geeks Episode?

Jason pregames in his bedroom.


You must sign the release before skateboarding.








Meanwhile, back in Jason's room- the Princess finds a comfortable resting place.


The walls of Jason's pad/ garage.


Amps and Ramps indeed.


Joe Meek stands back and watches his creation.
Jason Cady and the Artificials


The Princess Leahs love the art rock.




This picture is in black and white because this band plays 60's soul.
Mixtape


Is this a still from a 1980's video?

When Does the Baseball Reality Show Begin?

I've always been intrigued by boxing. When I was a little kid, I used to love boxing with William from up the block. He used to beat the living shit out of me, but I couldn't get enough. Maybe it was the masochist in me, but I loved it!



I enjoy boxing films, going to the occasional Golden Gloves match, and watching a big fight on TV. So I was pretty excited when I heard about the concept of The Contender. Mark Burnett and boxing? Sounded like a winning combination to me. Hell, even Sylvester Stallone couldn't ruin it, right?

After watching three episodes, the answer is that Stallone is doing his best to ruin it. Either that or the melodramatic bullshit added to the mix, I guess, to pull in the female demographic. And Sugar Ray Leonard is completely useless.

But then things started to get a little more interesting. The boxers started to taunt each other. Plot lines have emerged. The fights have been interesting, even if we don't see the whole thing, and what we do get has added sound effects, too much slow motion, and too many Stallone/ Leonard reaction shots.

After the first episode, the losing boxer was eliminated from the tournament by losing his match. He was devastated. He had been undefeated in his career. On most reality shows, it isn't a big deal if a person loses- they just go back to real life. But for these boxers, this is their lives. If they lose, what sort of repurcussions will there be for their careers?

As I watched the pain of the first loser, I kept wondering how the producers will deal with the assumed eventual defeat of Najai, the boxer from Philadelphia who committed suicide last month sometime after the completion of the show.

Last episode, the obnoxious Ahmed was downright hilarious! During sparring, he beat up the old man Sugar Ray just for the hell of it. Ahmed was eliminated at the end of the episode. However, it seems like the next episode they will be bringing back one of the three previously defeated boxers. I hope they bring him back for the hatred that he inspires.

Check out his bio.

Ahmed lives with (and is supported by) his girlfriend, Brandy, a very beautiful 20-something television host who is moving to LA to expand her career. Ahmed will follow her to LA as Hollywood is his "destiny." His peers even call him "Hollywood", and he embraces this nickname because he feels that he IS Hollywood personified.

Good looking yet extremely vain, Ahmed plans to be a top model and movie star as well as a world champion boxer. He thinks his opponents don't take him seriously because he is "so pretty." He claims the truth is that the reason he's so pretty is because no one can hit him. Count on Ahmed to stir the pot and create some controversy with his cocky and flashy look and personality.

After getting eliminated, he ended last week's show by stating, "There will be a rematch between me and him and the next time I'll beat him. I'm a warrior and I'm not going to quit. Number One! Hollywood!"


Ishe, his opponent, wouldn't even look him in the eye.


I love how the loser hangs up his gloves next to all the other losers' gloves at the end of each episode.

Am I completely sold on this show? Not really. I put it on while I'm doing other things. But I will give it at least another episode or two to see how it develops.

In This Corner Weighing In At 5 Pounds and 11 Ounces

I Hate Movies

That's right. I said it.

Although I'm not sure I really hate movies. But I am feeling a little worn out by the constant filmgoing since I moved to New York in 1997. Perhaps this is merely a phase I'm going through. Perhaps I'll wake up tomorrow and be ready for a double feature. I'm going to see if my upcoming spring break helps me reaquaint myself with the joys of moviegoing.

So since I'm Listmaker, I need to think this through with a list.

Thus, here are a few reasons I'm sick of movies right now.

1. The DVR fills my need for movies with a constant stream of excellent options to record. Recently, I have enjoyed The Lavender Hill Mob, Bad Day at Black Rock, and many a film noir. I've got Wages of Fear, The Great Dictator, and Intruder in the Dustin the queue. Plus I'm watching more and more TV because of the DVR and I feel the need to stay at home and clear the DVR.

2. I hate having to sit next to a bunch of loud, rude people during movies. I'm more comfortable at home. The closer I get to a large screen TV, the farther I get from wanting to see so many films in the theaters.

3. I'm getting lazy and don't feel like making the effort as often to go see a film.

4. I've been disappointed by the three (count them, only three!) 2005 films I've seen thus far. Granted, two of the three were pretty good but all three (Turtles Can Fly, Nobody Knows, and Head-On) were kind of downers. Maybe I just haven't been in the mood for these kinds of films recently.

5. There have already been a number of movies that I've wanted to see in the past couple of months that I missed. And I realized something pretty monumental- I survived.

But I'll see how I feel after two weeks off- I might be ready to become a steady filmgoer again. And if that happens, I'll have plenty of movies to see to start catching up to the pace of the past seven years. Although if going to see downbeat movies has been what has been causing my recent movie malaise, I'm not sure that the next film I plan on seeing is going to make me fall in love with cinema again.

But the bottom line is that maybe everybody has been wrong in the recent blog wars, maybe I'M the real hater.

Mystery Gift For the Ages

Weddings can be hectic. Sometimes a person might buy a gift and then forget to write his/ her name on the gift wrapping. Sometimes a card might get separated from the gift itself. I understand this.

So ... if you happen to be the person who purchased this ... um ... wastebasket and soap dispenser set made out of clear plastic with ... um ... blue liquid at the bottom ... and ... um ... some sort of aquatic life floating at the bottom ... thank you!



Youthlarge and I are sorry that we did not send you a thank you note but we do not know who gave us this wacky gift item. My mom asked all of her friends and no one took credit for it. We're pretty sure that none of the Koreans gave it to us since they seem to favor wads of cash as gifts rather than wild and crazy trash cans.

So ... this leaves our friends. If you happened to purchase this unique trash dispenser, please let us know. We owe you a thank you note.

Good But Not Quite Rockettes Good

Interpol, Radio City Music Hall

A Saturday in New Jersey

Hamachi and Youthlarge: Together At Last