The World (And All Its Problems)

Orioles Magic (Feel It Happen)

I am convinced.

The Orioles will be contenders all season. They can not be stopped! Their offense is too damn good. BJ Ryan is a beast! The bullpen is solid, the rotation is improving. Ray Miller is a genius. Flanagan and Beattie will find a way to get a solid veteran presence in the rotation by the trading deadline. The Yankees are old and crotchety. The Red Sox are injured and spent.

I'm looking for 90 wins and wild card contention all year. I'm looking for the most exciting season in Baltimore since '89.

Headbanger's Ball

Mike Piazza


The EMS guy at Shea who looks like a dead ringer for the aforementioned weak armed catcher – if he hadn't become a professional baseball player and had merely spent the past ten years eating too many potato chips and listening to Metallica CDs in his parents’ basement.

I'm Making This Up As I Go Along

On Saturday night, Youthlarge, Steve, Jim, and I went to the Brooklyn Lyceum to see Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation. Back in the 80's, a bunch of Mississippi teenagers made a shot for shot remake of the classic film. It took them seven years to finish it, but finish it they did.

After gathering dust for a number of years, a college roommate of one of the auteurs made a copy of the tape. It eventually found its way into the hands of a Hollywood insider who ended up passing it on to Steven Spielberg. It turns out that Spielberg loved it. Now Dan Clowes is in the process of writing a film based on the experiences of these kids in the making of their film.

The movie itself is hilarious. The kids were so incredibly resourceful. Every Christmas, they'd ask for new gifts from their parents - a hat, a whip, etc. They filmed every scene except for the bald mechanic gets sliced by the airplane scene. A few adaptations were made -- Indy escapes on a boat rather than an airplane at the beginning of the film. And the monkey that gets poisoned by bad dates is replaced by Snickers the Dog.

But who cares? Once you've seen a Mississippi basement go up in flames during the bar scene, watch a bunch of teenagers re-enact the "Indy is underneath a moving truck" scene, and have a chance to marvel at the audacity of a bunch of kids filming the submarine scenes on the USS Alabama, you will forever be hooked. I watched the whole 100 minutes absolutely stunned. I would love to see it again.



It is a testament to these kids (and you get to see them grow up in the film albeit out of order since they didn't film the scenes chronologically) that they stuck with their plan over the course of seven years. And it further reminds me that Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of the best movies ever made.


Youthlarge gets interviewed in front of the Brooklyn Lyceum by BBC America.

Sin City

As I read over all the comments from my previous post on this film, I found myself shocked that two days after seeing the film, I couldn't even remember many of the details that people were referring to. I'm not quite sure why more of it didn't stick with me considering that for the most part, I enjoyed watching this film.

I expected to hate the dialogue, but I actually think it worked for the film. I liked the narration, film noir style. But this wasn't really noir in the classic sense of the word. It had more of a pulp feel to it. Rather than femme fatales and snappy dialogue, it had tons of hookers and gore. Recent films with classic noir elements (The Man Who Wasn't There and Mulholland Drive among others) had characters that I found myself interested in. This film did not. That is okay though. This film is based on a comic that is influenced by noir and pulp. As each layer is added, more classic elements are lost and new elements are added.

I expected to not like the story, but I did like it. A whole bizarre world is created in this film. I'd imagine that if I had read the comics, I would have been super excited about this movie. More than any other film based on a comic, this film really felt like it had literally been ripped from the page. I loved the crazy Frodo shit. The image of the limbless Frodo propped up by a tree trunk will forever be seared into my memory. Scream already! Some of the stuff was so incredibly and twisted and I dug it.

But overall the film seemed off to me. I'm not disputing that the film looked interesting overall, but everything seemed very flat to me. I did like the reds and the yellows that looked great next to the black and white. Maybe the print wasn't great, but the black and white looked dull to me. I suppose gray best emulates the look of the comics but I'm not sure since I haven't read them.

The actors never seemed to be in the same room when talking to each other. Everything seemed very stiff. The dialogue sounded like it had been recorded in a vacuum. It kind of sounded like the crappy dubbing on parts of 20 Midgets. If nothing else, I was expecting a thrill ride, but I didn't quite get that. I got a lot of fucked up murders and freaky scenes, but I didn't get a jump out of my seat, heart pumping, transcendent movie experience like Tarantino's best moments deliver. If Tarantino had directed more of it rather than Rodriguez, this film would have been much better.

9 Year-Old Rock and Roll News

Can't get enough of fourth grade rock bands? Well, I've got just the story for you. Disregard the numerous spelling mistakes and enjoy! Remember it is only from Columbia and not a high quality CUNY school.



In other rock star news, the other band (all girls) that these two are in will be featured in an upcoming Fischerspooner video (to be shot this week). It seems they will be playing the young Fischerspooner in the video. If you're wondering how you can go from one gig at a pizza joint to a video that promises to be in the heavy rotation of New York Noise, it helps if one of the people in your band has a father who directs all of Fischerspooner's videos.

Visiting Cute Japanese Art With A Cute Korean

As Youthlarge has already written, the two of us visited some fun Japanese art a couple of weeks ago. No pictures were allowed in the museum but here are some of Elephant Underwear.


I can't decide if the elephant or these women are more of a work of art.


Youthlarge hated this girl.


The kid sitting on the poo was Youthlarge's favorite.


Hmmm....


Youthlarge wouldn't crawl underneath the elephant despite my pleas.

Field Trip to Ellis Island

Who cares about history when you get to run on a big field?


Mondale making sure everything is running smoothly.

Annoying People

In response to my last post, Youthlarge wrote, "thank goodness for the hot dog. it was the only break he took from unfurling that dumb banner over and over in front of my face."



I don't know which was more annoying - the kid with the banner, the mom leaning completely forward in her seat, or the jackass a few rows in front of us who kept standing during the game while talking on his cell phone.

Hungry Kid at Mets Game

First in War, First in Peace, First in the National League East

I led an easy stress free life from 1979-1997. I was an Orioles fan. End of story.

But in 1998, I moved to New York and began to root for the Mets as well. It started off slowly. I always kind of liked the Mets. Maybe it was because they had a history of being the ugly second cousin to the Yankees. Maybe it was because the old Brooklyn Dodgers fans became Mets fans. Maybe it was because of Casey Stengel. Maybe it was because the first game I ever went to other than Baltimore's Memorial Stadium was Shea Stadium.

I'm not a frontrunner. In fact, I get bored when a team I'm rooting for is the best in the league. The 1997 Orioles regular season was too boring for me. There was no adversity. It was too easy. The 1991 Redskins team who dominated the league all season was not nearly as much fun to me as the 1987 team that wasn't all that great (if you take out the 3-0 record that the replacement squad put together) until the playoffs. I like the teams I root for to be in second place all year until making a big push at the very end.

So I'm not a frontrunner, but I am a person who enjoys having a home team to root for. I have taken grief from the peanut gallery about this for years but I see no reason why I can't be an Orioles fan and a Mets fan. I'll always be an Orioles fan but I also like being able to go to the games, watch them regularly on TV, and listen to sports radio that revolves around the home team. The Mets were an exciting bunch during my first four years in New York. They easily sucked me in. The Orioles had become a pathetic shell of themselves and Peter Angelos is an embarrassment.

In 1998, during interleague play, I rooted for the Orioles over the Mets. As soon as the Birds left town, I put my Mets hat (figuratively not literally, I still don't have a Mets cap) back on in enough time to passionately root them on against the Yankees during the next three games.

In 1999, I rooted for the Orioles again but I was conflicted. They were in the midst of another terrible season and the three games did not matter to them. But they did matter to the contending Mets.

By 2000, I had given up any pretense during these interleague games of rooting for Baltimore. Who cares if they won these games? They were destined to only win 70 games anyway so what did it matter? The Mets, on the other hand, really needed every victory they could get. I could live with myself for this transgression. I have two teams, one from my childhood and one that I have adopted. Since they aren't even in the same league, it was easy to root for both. And since the Birds were so abysmal, there really was no conflict. It was only three games each year played in the early part of the season! Now that the interleague schedule has changed, the two teams only play each other once every three years. I still believe that if the two teams played in the World Series, I would root for Baltimore. But I never will truly know until the first pitch of that first game to see which way my heart goes.

Which brings me to the Nationals. I love them! I love the excitement they generate among fans who didn't really ever have a team to root for. I love how excited they make my dad. I can't wait to go to RFK to see a real game with real field dimensions after seeing two exhibition games there in the early 90's during a failed attempt to lure a team to Washington.

As a kid, in between Hardy Boys books, I loved reading about the old Senators that moved to Minnesota. How could you not like Walter Johnson or Gabby Street who in 1908 caught a ball dropped from the top of the Washington Monument? Shirley Povich's columns always were a good reminder that, yes, the Nation's Capital once did have major league baseball. Washington: First in War, First in Peace, Last in the American League.

Even my mom who hates baseball would occasionally reminisce about going to games at old Griffith Stadium as a girl with her dad. I always loved looking at the ticket stub to the All Star game that my grandfather attended at D.C. Stadium (RFK before it was renamed) in 1962.

I always enjoyed listening to my dad talk about the second incarnation of the Senators and all the games he attended from the mid 60's- 1971: Big Frank Howard! Ted Williams bringing some respectability as the manager for a few years. Denny Mclain, former 31 game winner in Detroit, imploding in Washington.


Big Frank


The newspaper description of Frank Howard's monstrous RFK homerun - the seat has been freshly repainted.

My dad would tell me stories about going to games with only 700 fans in attendance. He was there at the last home game (only a few thousand fans bothered to show up) when Frank Howard's homerun gave Washington a late lead against the hated Yankees. The fans stormed the field in glorious agony and destroyed the field. The Senators had to forfeit the game. A perfect ending. My dad was heartbroken when the team left. He lamented about the time the Padres were on the verge of moving to Washington in the mid 70's. It took him eight years before he finally began to embrace the team 50 minutes to the north.

Even though I was raised an Orioles fan, I always loved listening to the stories. I prized my 1971 Topps Cards of a few of the Senators. My two favorites were Del Unser and Elliott Maddox.



So, yes, I am even more excited about the Nationals than I thought I would be. This surprises me. I didn't think I felt such a strong allegiance to the area. I have no desire to live there again. And I grew up an Orioles fan. Yes, I would have been a Senators fan if they had existed but that is besides the point. I am so conflicted. I find myself extremely happy each time the Nats win. After the team has been screwed for so many years in Montreal, they are the utlimate underdogs.

This isn't going to be easy for me. They play the Mets 19 times a year and they are in the same division! Starting next year, they will play the Orioles six games a year and I imagine that that will turn into quite a nice rivarly. It is an embarrassment of riches for me but I'm very worried here. How do I handle this?

This weekend, the Nats come to New York for the first time. Youthlarge and I are going to Sunday's game. Next Saturday, we will go to RFK to see the Mets play the Nats. I will be rooting for the Mets but I wonder how long that will last. Am I such a Washington kind of guy that even after not having a team to root for (a team that I would have rooted for if they had existed and let's remember I was not a Colts fan but a Redskins fan, back when I cared about the gridiron) for 32 years that eventually that love will supersede both my adopted team and the team of my childhood? I'm nervous and excited about where my fandom will lead me over the next few years.

In fact, the only other thing that makes me nervous about this whole Nats thing is that their hat reminds me a little too much of our current president.



Propose a nickname for the Nats here.

Making Fun of Annoying Players is a Good Idea. Making Fun of Intelligent, Courageous Players is Not.

I just got off the phone with my dad. He called just to tell me that this past weekend was the best baseball weekend of his life. He enjoyed both an Orioles sweep of the Yankees and a Nats sweep of the Diamondbacks. It was indeed a glorious weekend of baseball and a glorious weekend for signs at baseball games.

From yesterday's game in Baltimore:


"5 Years Later
You're still a traitor.
How's the ring fit?"

It is too bad he couldn't find a way to also mention the fact that Mussina still has not ever won 20 games in a season.

Yesterday's Pedro vs. Al Leiter game at Shea was a great game. The fans had a great time booing Carlos Delgado who spurned the Mets' contract offer this offseason. Others liked to boo him because of his political beliefs.


"Delgado is still an American disgrace"

No punctuation on public signs is still an American disgrace.

A Disturbing Day in the News

Frist Set to Use Religious Stage on Judicial Issue

As the Senate heads toward a showdown over the rules governing judicial confirmations, Senator Bill Frist, the majority leader, has agreed to join a handful of prominent Christian conservatives in a telecast portraying Democrats as "against people of faith" for blocking President Bush's nominees.

Fliers for the telecast, organized by the Family Research Council and scheduled to originate at a Kentucky megachurch the evening of April 24, call the day "Justice Sunday" and depict a young man holding a Bible in one hand and a gavel in the other. The flier does not name participants, but under the heading "the filibuster against people of faith," it reads: "The filibuster was once abused to protect racial bias, and it is now being used against people of faith."

Bill Frist points out which non-believers, homos, and Jews will be on the first bus to hell when the Apocalypse arrives -but please not until NBC's "Revelations" is over.


And if I wasn't disturbed enough, I found this article in the sports page about a high school basketball coach in Texas who has been fired because she is a lesbian.

Some parents of Stephens's players wanted her gone. Craig Hale, who owns an oil company, said he does not want a lesbian teaching his children and possibly influencing the way they think. His daughter, Kaitlyn Cornelius, played for Stephens last season and said she felt uncomfortable around the coach, though she said Stephens never did anything inappropriate.

"I had nothing against her as a person," Hale said, but if he stood up for "one lesbian" that would mean he was "for them adopting kids, and my morals and the Bible doesn't allow that."

After the last basketball season, Stephens resigned as coach and took a full-time teaching job at the school.

While 25 girls played basketball at Bloomburg in the 2003-4 season, only seven ended up on this season's team. Many quit because Coach Stephens was gone.

Still, the debate about her continued. Stephens said that she was blamed when one of her former players, now in college, revealed she was a lesbian. That player's parents insisted that the superintendent, Jerry Hendrick, fire Stephens because she had "converted their daughter," Stephens said. Hendrick and all but one of the six school board members did not return phone messages seeking comment on the controversy.

Byers said in the deposition that another board member, Ronnie Peacock, told him that Stephens "doesn't deserve to work here" because she is a lesbian. In that deposition, Byers recalled Peacock saying: "We're bonded or insured for a million dollars apiece. We ought to fire her and see what happens."

In a telephone interview, Peacock, denied making that statement although he favored Stephens's dismissal. "I liked Coach Stephens personally and I thought she was a great coach and teacher, but we had reasons to fire her that I can't tell you," he said.

It is so sad that people still believe this way and use the Bible as the reason to hate. J. Edward Keyes does a fantastic job calling these assholes to the carpet.


And if that wasn''t enough -- here comes Gary Sheffield. Last night. a fan in Boston reaches for a ball down the line as Sheffield tries to head it off. There is incidental contact with Sheffield who then takes a swipe at him, and Sheffield shows restraint- or so he says.

Master Torre, the king of the backwards quote, said, "No competitive person wants to get hit and have somebody run away." What? The guy wasn't running away, he was in the stands.

"Manager Joe Torre made multiple references to a fan coming onto the field, but though the fans were close to Sheffield, none left their seats and went on the field in a game the Red Sox won, 8-5.

Still, Torre, who had not watched a replay, said: "These people shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets, much less come to a ballgame. The sad part about it is, it's a handful of people who screw it up for everyone."

When asked how he showed so much restraint, Sheffield said. "Don't react. That's what I did." Don't react? After you took a swipe at a guy? Why are some players vilified for committing similar transgressions but others are spared? Sheffield keeps getting a pass on his steroids use and now this? If you watch the reactions of the fans involved, it is of utter shock - they can't believe Sheffield is going after them. For his part, Sheffield walks off, showing so much restraint rubbing his unblemished face which clearly indicates that he had been brutalized.

"I was trying to get his hand out of my face where I could continue with the play and then I threw the ball and I was getting ready to react, but I held my composure," Sheffield said.

Sheffield said that the fan hit him in the jaw and that he thought his lip had been cut. As Sheffield and the fans in right field shouted at each other, a cup of beer toppled near Sheffield. An alert security guard jumped in front of the fan and stayed between him and Sheffield.

"It could have been worse if I didn't hold my composure," Sheffield said. "I almost snapped, but I thought about the consequences."

While Sheffield said he did not throw a punch, a videotape replay of the incident shows Sheffield swinging at the fan with his glove.

He also complained about beer being thrown on him. He must be referring to the beer that was spilled when he knocked it over taking a punch. What fucking revisionist history but no one calls him on it!


"And then the judges followed the Constitution, but we didn't like it so now we are going to try to get those mothafuckas!"

Oh wait, wrong story.

Soundtrack of the Century

I've always been fascinated by the roots of modern music. PBS has just started an eight part series about this very topic. I've only watched the first ten minutes of Popular Song: Soundtrack of the Century but I'm already inspired to write about it. Watch it! Lots of great footage of the Lower East Side from almost 100 years ago. Gershwin, Berlin, ragtime! I love it!


Organ grinders love PBS!

All is Well?

Steve Kline backtracked and recorded a win yesterday after
explaining himself to his teammates before the game.

The day began with Kline (1-1) doing a little damage control inside the visitors' clubhouse, a meeting held at his request to explain comments he made in a St. Louis newspaper about regretting his decision to sign with the Orioles.

Bullpen coach Elrod Hendricks hugged Kline and said, "Daddy still loves you." A teammate, also finding the whole situation amusing, said, "Unlike Kline, I'm happy here. Cut me, and I bleed orange."

"I figured, if I screw up right now, they may as well shoot me," Kline said.

Said Mazzilli: "That's what he's supposed to do, go out and do the job. And he did it in a tough situation. I didn't expect anything less from him."

Players waited in front of the dugout to congratulate Kline.

"You can see how good we can be, and I feel guilty for two of the three losses we have," Kline said. "My team picked me up big-time. They showed me a lot of love. I'm happy about that.

"We had a good talk today. They told me, 'Don't worry about it, big boy. Just go out and throw your game and bring us home some victories.'"

But the Baltimore Sun's David Steele isn't so forgiving.

Your apology to your teammates and your employers yesterday down in St. Pete has been duly noted. But your apology to your new city might need some work. Nice of you to throw some bouquets to your fans from your Cardinals days, but did you really have to fling the fertilizer in the other direction?

"It came out wrong" won't cut it. You might find out how much it doesn't cut it as early as tomorrow night at Camden Yards. As you so thoughtfully put it in yesterday's St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the paper in the town for which you obviously still carry a torch, "There's nothing worse than getting booed at home."

Thanks, by the way, for adding, "St. Louis fans are too good for that. They understand the game more than most people." Meaning, we assume, people who can read and can get Internet access. Apparently, you figure that did not include Baltimore people. We got computers, ee-leck-tricity and ever'thang.

Oh, and feelings. I'm not even from here, and that entire out-of-town diatribe hurt my feelings. Almost as much as watching those two gag jobs in the late innings last week.

Do I Love Frank Miller? Well, do I?

Since this worked so well the last time I asked a similar question, I'll try it again. Is Sin City worth seeing? I know that it looks great and all, but how is it otherwise? Remember, I haven't really read comic books since 1977 when my mom told me to stop reading them before bed because they were giving me nightmares.

Who Says the NY Times Has A Crappy Sports Page?

Boston pitcher Bronson Arroyo does his best grunge!

Bronson Arroyo popped a CD of his vocals into the stereo in the Boston Red Sox' weight room about two months ago, turned up the volume and waited anxiously for a reaction. This was Arroyo's anonymous audition for his teammates.

No one noticed. No one asked Arroyo to change the disc. As his covers of Pearl Jam, Goo Goo Dolls and Stone Temple Pilots songs filled the room, the Red Sox were oblivious to the fact that one of their pitchers had done a slick job of morphing into Eddie Vedder, Johnny Rzeznik and Scott Weiland.

Arroyo has a distinctive speaking voice, a bit of a Southern twang with a gritty edge. When Arroyo sings, that edginess becomes more pronounced. When he sings a Pearl Jam song, he sounds like Vedder. When he sings a Goo Goo Dolls song, he sounds like Rzeznik. It is clear that Arroyo can emulate famous vocalists. But as an artist, he wants to develop his own sound, not become a karaoke king.

"I think he's being true to the song," Harriet said. "He's not trying to imitate them. I think he's respecting the song and giving it his own style."

When a visitor listened to a handful of Arroyo's cover songs and told him they sounded like the originals, Arroyo did not disagree. Damon, who sings backup on the Boston staple "Dirty Water" by the Standells, said Arroyo was talented enough to be a full-time singer if he had the desire.

"I'm jealous of him," Damon said. "Baseball players want to be rock stars, and rock stars want to baseball players. He's both."

And the darling Jose Reyes enjoys the home cooking of his mommy and daddy.

The teammates who once questioned his courage are mostly gone, replaced by those who share his Hispanic heritage. The desolate hotel room has also been replaced by a bustling home where his parents plan to stay all season, his father watching Mets games and his mother cooking her son's favorite Dominican specialties.

The Mets are starting to understand him better, perhaps because so many of them speak the same language. Reyes banters in Spanish with Martínez, dresses like him, even carries a handbag like him.

I Feel Betrayed

A sad day in Baltimore.

The Cavern for the 21st Century

One day, Two Boots Pizza in Brooklyn will be famous for two things:

1. It was the site of the world premiere of the Bart Decoursy play 20 Midgets back in 1998.

2. It was the site of the debut of future rock legends!







The set:

"Wild Thing" - The Troggs
"Werewolves of London" - Warren Zevon
"Purple Haze" - Jimi Hendrix
"Rockin' in the Free World" - Neil Young
"Should I Stay or Should I Go?" - The Clash

They traded off vocals between Lyle and Sophie. Youthlarge thinks that Lyle's vocal style is completely an homage to Mark E. Smith.

Even More Baseball!

The day finally arrived! The home opener at Shea Stadium! Luckily, the Mets pulled out a victory yesterday in Atlanta because a home opener with an 0-6 record would have been absolutely pathetic.

I've been a Mets fan long enough to know that even when things seem like they are going to go well, they don't. For starters, this silly keychain didn't even count things down correctly. Instead of counting down to zero at 1:10 pm, it counted down to zero at 1:10 am. And nothing really exciting happened -- unless you are excited by flashing zeros. I wonder though, did Dave's clock on the West Coast adjust itself accordingly to Pacific Time in the way that the cable box does when the time changes?



I left work at 11:30, it is a time honored tradition for me to either skip the whole day or take a half day. My dad and I (Happy Birthday Stone Groove!) went to every Orioles Opening Day from 1982 - 1991. But then it became very difficult to get tickets when Camden Yards opened. We missed out in '92 and '93. That really got to my dad because he decided to splurge on scalped tickets (50 bucks each for 10 dollar tickets) so we could go to Opening Day in '94. I'm so glad that all those bandwagon obnoxious assholes that sold out Camden Yards in the early 90s have found a new place to go.

This year marks the 18th year out of the last 24 that I have gone to Opening Day or a home opener. A good streak. I snuck out without really telling any kids but I did tell one kid who inquired that I was going to a meeting which I guess isn't really a lie, it was a meeting with 55,000 people. A few minutes later, Bowles confessed that he had accidentally let it slip to a couple of his students that I was going to the game. Does he have to ruin every secret?



The Mets looked okay, but the Astros looked terrible. They imploded in the 8th allowing the Mets to turn a 4-3 deficit into an 8-4 victory. But more importantly, we did not find out any new scoreboard nicknames/cheers for the new additions of Pedro, Beltran, and Mientkiewicz. "Jump on the Beltran?" I guess we'll have to wait for another game.

The other thing to look for on each opening day? How does the new pattern on the grass look? I've got to say that I'm impressed. The interlocking NY and the skyline that is on the Mets logo!


Too bad things didn't run so smoothly in the 6th inning when the hitter's background that should be black during the game didn't turn back from the between innings ad for the Mets on cable (which is pretty funny in and of itself considering that close to 3 million Time Warner subscribers are currently out of luck if they want to watch the Mets during the week). Houston batter Morgan Ensberg (and yes Handwashings is right, the Astros are easily the whitest team in all of baseball) refused to hit until things were fixed.

But it couldn't be fixed for awhile! They tried to manually lower the black covering over the board because the technical turning of the board from an ad to a hitter's background wasn't working. After lowering two separate pieces and watching it fall to the ground (I guess it didn't occur to them to mount the material to anything at the top) they just stood around and looked at the board. The players all left the field. Lovely. Eventually, it was fixed and the game was able to commence.



After the game, we went to Two Boots to see a 4th grade rock band -- more on that later. There were many kids from my school including a current student of Mondale. She asked me if I had gone to the Mets game. I asked her why she was asking me that question. She told me that Mondale had told the entire class that I was going and that his class told my class at recess time. I've guess I've got some explaining to do tomorrow. But come on Mondale, you accidentally told a couple of kids? Or you announced it to your entire class? Some people can not be trusted!

Ain't No Senator's Son -- But I Am the VP's Son!

Ever wonder what George Bush listens to on his i-Pod while he's exercising? Wonder no more!

As for an analysis of Mr. Bush's playlist, Mr. Levy of Rolling Stone started out with this: "One thing that's interesting is that the president likes artists who don't like him."

Mr. Levy was referring to Mr. Fogerty, who was part of the anti-Bush "Vote for Change" concert tour across the United States last fall. Mr. McKinnon, who once wrote songs for Kris Kristofferson's music publishing company, responded in an e-mail message that "if any president limited his music selection to pro-establishment musicians, it would be a pretty slim collection."

Nonetheless, Mr. McKinnon said that Mr. Bush had not gone so far as to include on his playlist "Fortunate Son," the angry anti-Vietnam war song about who has to go to war that Mr. Fogerty sang when he was with Creedence Clearwater Revival. ("I ain't no senator's son ... Some folks are born silver spoon in hand.") As the son of a two-term congressman and a United States Senate candidate, Mr. Bush won a coveted spot with the Texas Air National Guard to avoid combat in Vietnam.

Meanwhile, Mr. Levy sized up the rest of the playlist of the 58-year-old president. "What we're talking about is a lot of great artists from the 60's and 70's and more modern artists who sound like great artists from the 60's and 70's," he said. "This is basically boomer rock 'n' roll and more recent music out of Nashville made for boomers. It's safe, it's reliable, it's loving. What I mean to say is, it's feel-good music. The Sex Pistols it's not."

Sunday Night Posting

Handwashings and I went to the Orioles - Yankees game today. It was a beautiful 7-2 victory for the Birds. He got us in free as usual and then hooked us up with 75 cent hot dogs, 75 cent pretzels, 75 cent cokes, and then splurged on one dollar Haagen Dazs bars.

As I took this picture of Sammy at the plate, I said, "Listmaker needs a picture for his Sunday night posting." Handwashings thought that was funny. I don't know. All I do know is that the Yankees have lost 3 out of 4.



As Handwashings pointed out, it is so funny that the Yankees are full of aura and mystique and they refuse to have a mascot, but they love love love their Cotton Eye Joe - who is apparently now Cotton Eye Joey.



From our seats, we were treated to a close up behind the scenes version of "Cotton Eye Joe." We got to see him put on the special Cotton Eye Joe shirt and the special Cotton Eye Joe hat. And then he danced. And then we got to see him take off the special Cotton Eye Joe shirt and the special Cotton Eye Joe hat. Brilliant. Almost as classy as the groundskeepers exhorting 45,000 fans to sing along to "YMCA."

Empty Promises

On my walk home today, I saw a kid, about ten years old, reading a Hardy Boys book in front of his apartment. It was one of the earlier ones with the old school hard cover.



I immediately became wistful at how much I used to love reading about the Hardys, Chet, and old jalopies. I remembered that I had made a vow with myself to never stop reading books in the series because I loved loved loved them so. Of course, I have sold out my ten year-old self. I haven't read a Hardy Boys book in years. Then I started remembering some of the other vows I remember making as a child- most of these are true.

- Eat Peanut Butter Crunch and Pop Tarts for breakfast everyday.

- Never become one of those people that laments how much better things used to be.

- See Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back at least once a year.

- Mow the lawn and shovel snow myself rather than hiring a neighborhood kid.

- Beat the shit out of Ricky Schroder

- Never stop reading my favorite Lloyd Alexander books.

- Meet Erin Gray



- Stay up to watch Saturday Night Live every week.

- Watch as much MTV as I can.

- Keep making lists.

I wish that I could have stayed more true to my ten year old self in the way that a certain Balgavy fellow that I know has. I worship him for living up to impossible ideals.

Why Do I Do This to Myself?

For my own mental health, I really should have known better than to read this book.

I Never Thought I Would Become a Soap Kind of Guy

I've always been a low maintenance kind of guy -- when it comes to soap at least. Most of my youth, my mom would transfer the soap that my dad had grown tired of to my bathroom for me to finish. Stone Groove is a weird guy. He doesn't like to use soap once it gets past about the halfway point. Rather than throw it away (I guess my mom used a different soap) she would give it to me. I could have cared less.

Once I was on my own, I started buying whatever was cheap. I ended up settling into a Dial or Lever 3000 rut. Upon moving to NYC, I dabbled in liquid body soap -- with bubbles to boot. But I've never been a washcloth kind of guy, even though I know a guy named Washcloth. Eventually, I settled on Dove soap. I always have liked the way it smelled but it was nothing terribly exciting.

However, recently things have been changing for me on the soap front. Very exciting things have been happening. First, Youthlarge and I stayed at the Salish Lodge near Seattle. Handwashings couldn't stop raving about the soap from a previous visit. He was right - the soap was fantastic. But not life changing good. I had to wait two more months for that.

For my birthday, Cousin Leah bought me soap from Lush where she works. And holy shit, I had no idea that the simple matter of a bar of soap could so dramatically change my quality of life. For a few weeks, showering with it started my day off on the right note. I tried two bars -- "Red Rooster" and "Demon in the Dark." How can you not like a soap that has this description? "Peel the wax, lather and wait for your dark side to appear."


Demon in the Dark!

Youthlarge admitted that she had stolen the "Honey I Washed the Kids" bar. So I might not ever know what it would have been like to bathe with soap described as "Mouth-watering honey soap for washing you, the kids, the dog and the granny. Real honey hand and body soap to soothe and sweetly scent your skin."

But now I'm out and I haven't bought more. I'm currently slumming it with some Salish soap. But if I run out of that, what am I going to do? I can't go back to Dove after reaching such great heights. Cousin Leah, please help! I have to continue using soap that has two different colors in it!

Pain Is Not So Bad When Shared

Wood: ... Pain...
Prior: ... When shared...
Dusty Baker: ... stop sharing already!

Both pitchers were injured last year. In the foreground is the Chicago Cubs manager, Dusty Baker. The dialogue is an allusion to a Korean proverb, "Pain is not so bad when shared."

From yesterday's NY Times -- an article about the creator, Choi Hoon, of those amazing Korean baseball comics. Check the graphic for translations.

Mr. Choi, who has never been to America, attributes his popularity to the attractions of Major League Baseball itself. "There are so many teams and famous athletes, so many spectators in the stands," he said. "Then there's the style of play; it just seems so colorful and varied. There's a special charm to Korean baseball, too, but maybe you have to be a Korean to enjoy it."

His favorite team is the Minnesota Twins. "They have a solid outfield, and although they aren't the most powerful hitters, they can score when they have to," he said. "It makes for entertaining games." His fellow Koreans, he says, generally go for the bigger teams; at the moment the World Series champion Boston Red Sox are especially popular. "Each Red Sox player seems to have his own tough individuality, and Koreans like that," he said.

And that team from the Bronx, where the Red Sox will travel tonight for the first game of the new season? "The Yankees are big here too," Mr. Choi said. "But on the other hand, a lot of people can't stand them."

Will Urbina Be a Met Before I File My Tax Return?

Because of various television contracts, etc, I was able to watch the Orioles on TV, but not the Mets and my dad could watch the Mets but not the Orioles. So I didn't get to see, only hear, Braden Looper give up three runs in the bottom of the ninth to blow a 6-4 9th inning lead. The loss took a lot of the luster off of the wonderful debuts of Pedro and Beltran.

However, unlike some people who get so wrapped up in every game, I'm not going to freak out. It is just one game. The sky is not falling. Maybe the Mets will only win 83 games this year instead of 84 but in the grand scheme of things, I can't get too bent out of shape.

But then again, it might just be because I couldn't see the damn thing.

Rodrigo Lopez looked great though, huh?

Hamachi!

With the new baseball season underway, it is also time to come up with new names for some of my fantasy baseball teams. I have four teams. This season, I've decided to change two of my team names. One of them I decided to name after Youthlarge's dog Hamachi. And I needed a good picture for my team logo.

So I asked Youthlarge if she would kindly make some baseball related pictures with Hamachi as the star. I didn't have to ask her twice. She immediately got to work, giggling the entire time.

And this is what she came up with:
The first four are all David Wright.













Angry Hamachi!




Currently, newsstand Hamachi is my team logo. Cast your vote here as to what my logo should be -- but please no votes for the Jeter ones!

One Sentence Reviews of Seven TV Shows

Home Movies: If you're not watching the reruns of this show on Cartoon Network, you are missing some of the best comedic moments on television.

Deadwood: I'm warming to the second season but I'm concerned that too many characters are now using the word "cocksucker."

Gilmore Girls: Too long of a hiatus, my darling needs more new shows.

The Office: I'm not ready to give up on it yet because there are enough good moments to keep me going.

Project Greenlight: First two episodes were fantastic but the third was kind of boring.

Lost: Where are the writers going with this show because last night's episode was dumb.

South Park: Some of the episodes consist of the most amazing satire, some are just plain stupid.