Books I've Read The Last Two Months

Elmore Leonard - The Hot Kid, 2005
I loved every page of this great book. I thank Chris Larry for making me borrow this. For some reason, I didn’t think I was going to love Elmore Leonard. I was wrong. Set in the 30’s, this book is full of gun molls, hapless gangsters, shining US marshals, famous bankrobbers, and sparkling dialogue. The prose seems so effortless. All the glowing things that Alex J. said about Philip Roth can be said for Leonard as well. This is a book written by a man who has been at this for awhile and knows exactly what he’s doing. It reminded me of Jim Thompson novels and of Miller’s Crossing. In fact, I would love to see this book made into a movie by the Coen Brothers.

Plus, how can you not like a book that has hundreds of lines like the one uttered by the marshal Carl Webser to a thug who he has been amicably chatting with and who had nonchalantly left his gun on the table in front of him: “You gonna stick your hands out to take the cuffs, or you want to see if you can pick up that gun?”

I'm super excited that Leonard is currently writing a serialized story in the NY Times Magazine using the same characters from this book.

I love Chris Larry and I love Elmore Leonard.

Erich Maria Remarque - All Quiet on the Western Front, 1929
From my grandfather's library.
I can’t believe that I made it to the age of 32 before I read this classic. It is amazing to me that a book this horrifying doesn’t immediately end all wars. The truths spoken in this book resonate loud and clear in 2005, young kids having their youth destroyed by aloof politicians. It must have been an amazingly optimistic time to actually believe that The Great War was the war to end all wars. While Johnny Got His Gun is all piss, vinegar, and bitter anger, this book is more pragmatic and full of everyday sorrow - how even the carnage of war can become merely a routine.

Nick Flynn - Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, 2004
Youthlarge read a chapter of this book in the New Yorker and liked it so much she bought the book.
This memoir has quite a memorable hook. Flynn is working at a homeless shelter in Boston in the 80’s when his father ends up staying there for awhile. He has had no contact with his dad in years. The story, dialogue, and situations are all pretty damn interesting. A good quick read.

Paul Auster - The New York Trilogy, 1985- 1986
I had never read any Auster before but Youthlarge convinced me to read this. I’m glad she did. I remember liking the movie Smoke back in the day and I also was aware that Auster lives in Park Slope. But for some reason I hadn’t bothered to read any of his stuff. This book is great. It makes me want to read some of his more recent work but I’m not sure where to begin. Each of these quasi-detective stories are linked whether it is by recurring characters or by theme. Auster does an amazing job of equating the life of writers with those of detectives. This engaging and odd book was a great end of summer read.

Recently Retired Music

Red Sticker Collection

Abba’s Greatest Hits
One listen was enough to retire this baby but I was surprised how much I enjoyed some of the songs that I wasn’t aleady sick of.

Not nearly as bad as I would have guessed.

Patsy Cline - Forever and Always
I can’t believe that between the two of us, the best we could do on the Patsy Cline front was this hastily put together ten song compilation. I must remedy that and soon.

The Clientele - A Fading Summer Ep, 2000
The idea of this band is a good one but they always make me sleepy when I listen to them.

Brought Home by Youthlarge

Magnolia Electric Co. - What Comes After the Rules, 2005
I really like some of Jason Molina's stuff, some of it leaves me cold. I like this one. Maybe he’s becoming a better songwriter. Maybe he’s just becoming less obtuse. But whatever, he sounds even more like Will Oldham on this one. On the Palace trajectory this would be Hope.

The Cure - Pornography, 1982
If I had been more into the Cure or Depeche Mode in 9th and 10th grade rather than R.E.M., maybe I would have gotten some more action. I bought Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me when it first came out and was disappointed. I eventually traded it to a friend for his CD of Sports. Staring at the Sea has some good songs but it wasn’t enough to really get me into the band. Years passed and the Cure faded from any sort of importance in my life. But when Youthlarge came home with this CD from work, I was curious to listen to it. It is strange - it is very 1982 in a good way and it makes me nostalgic for high school like I actually listened to this album in 1987. It so seamlessly would have fit into my late 80’s music listening. Instead, it is interesting to fill in the Robert Smith gaps in my mind in 2005.

4 Times 4 is half of 16/ All for Springbrook stand up and lean/ Lean, lean, lean, lean, lean lean/ Lean, lean, lean, lean, lean, lean

Queens of the Stone Age - Lullabies to Paralyze, 2005
While there is nothing as catchy on here as that humongous hit of theirs from a couple summers back, at least there is none of that radio chatter either.

Jamie Lidell - Multiply, 2005
Some of this is boring, some is pretty great. He occasionally borders on the Jamiroquai front. But at his best, he sounds like Marvin Gaye remixed by Amon Tobin and that is a damn good thing.

Andrew Bird - Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs, 2005
Bird used to be in the Squirrel Nut Zippers. But don’t hold that against him. He’s an amazing violinist and a writer of great melodies. File somewhere between a less ambitious Sufjan Stevens and a more edgy Sondre Lerche.

Super Furry Animals - Love Kraft, 2005
There aren’t any kickass moments on this album for me but there also aren’t any “I hate this song” moments either like some of their other records. They’ve already done their take on disco so it makes sense that they finally have put out an entire record of 70’s AM pop.

00100 - Gold and Green, 2005
I can’t fully describe this album other than I wish I was one of these songs. The women from the Boredoms go crazy melodically and beautifully.

Scout Niblett - Kidnapped By Neptune, 2005
Imagine a more fucked up Cat Power circa Myra Lee with a little more sense of melody, energy, and noise and you’ve got this record.

As crazy as Cat Power? Hard to say.


Calla - Collisions, 2005
I really liked their first two records. This one has taken more time for me to get into but it is rewarding after a few listens. And after I saw the kick ass video on New York Noise, I’ve been convinced that I like this record.

Baiting Third Graders Is Fun

Science Teacher Who Riles Up My Class And Then Leaves has helped contribute to a Talking Heads craze in my class (more on that later) and also likes to rile up Yankees fans. Orioles -17 Yankees - 8.

My School Loves Johnny Damon And I Love My School For It

Today, the copy machine in our building was broken. So I went across the street to the preschool building. And I was shocked yet quite pleased to see a large poster of Johnny Damon in the lobby. A Boston poster in a New York school? I couldn't be more proud to be an employee at a school that would do this! I was so overjoyed that it took me a few moments to even question why the poster was even there. Then I realized it was a poster promoting America's libraries. And even stinking Yankee fans have to admit that libraries are good.

But then I noticed something quite disturbing. Some prankster had made it look like Damon was reading the book How to Play Baseball by Derek Jeter. I had to admit that this was pretty funny. But there is no way that I was going to let that shit stand. So I got to work and printed out the cover of The Last Night of the Yankee Dynasty, the night in question is Game 7 of the 2001 World Series. I haven't read the book but I figured this book would be more to Mr. Damon's liking.

Click on the images to make them larger. Johnny deserves it.



I was quite pleased with my work. However, not even 90 minutes later, the curriculum director of the preschool came in and scolded me for taking down her work. She did this in somewhat of a good-natured manner but I'm not sure if she was amused or not. Regardless, she left the change stay so I win! Down with the Yankees. Go Red Sox!

Preschool Director did tell me that she was working on getting the poster out of the lobby. Sometimes even an educator's love of reading comes second to having her nose rubbed in the worst postseason collapse of all time.

The Peapod's 100 Day Party

Youthlarge's Two Favorite Things: The Peanut and a Comfortable Place to Sleep

Ahpa and the Peapod

A Two Sport Standout

The Peapod's 100 Day Party, Part II

Jackson and the Peanut

Alright, now she's just posing.

We need to get one of those for Brooklyn outings.

Charlie, The Peanut, and the Flower Girl

Things You Should Pay Attention To (Or My Recent Favorites From My Favorites)

Youthlarge Gets Dissed

Balgavy Baseball Pics, Day 7

Wisdom Weasel's Iraq Week, Part I

Wisdom Weasel's Iraq Week, Part II

The 1930's Winston Churchill Of Our Blogosphere

Express Written Consent

Someone Else Besides Me Finds Yahoo Pictures Odd

In Which Two Activists Take A Lot of Shit For Wanting To Get Married

Thou Shalt Not Make God Look Like An Asshole

Doggie!

The Last Thing This Blog Needs is Another 5th Ave. Picture

There has been a vacant/ parking lot on 5th Ave for years. Recently, Commerce Bank has purchased the land. They originally wanted to build a new branch with a drive-thru window. However, folks in the neighborhood raised a ruckus. Commerce relented on that point but are going ahead with the new building.

Right before they fenced off the area, someone spraypainted "The Last Thing This Corner Needs is a Bank." Once the work began, this message was clear for all to see. Then, the bank got sneaky and decided to have the workers park a truck in front of the message. Obviously, this solution wasn't the most practical one since the truck must have been necessary for construction purposes.

The new solution? How about painting over the word "bank" in bright orange? Now, not only, does Commerce make itself look ridiculous, but they are doing a damn good job of highlighting the word (even if you can't tell from this picture) that they are trying to cover up. I love it.

How the Other Half Lives

For some reason, I didn't take pictures of the exercise room with the hot tub in the middle of it.

Must Be a Giants Fan

Conversation Amongst Third Graders

Girl Who Forces Her Way to the Front of Every Picture Opportunity: My dad works for Mike Bloomberg's company. He's the mayor now.

Sassy New Favorite: I don't like Mike Bloomberg

Girl Who Forces Her Way to the Front of Every Picture Opportunity: Why not?

Sassy New Favorite: He wanted to build that West Side Stadium for football. Do you know how stupid that was?

Girl Who Forces Her Way to the Front of Every Picture Opportunity: No?

Sassy New Favorite: He was going to make the taxpayers pay for something that was only going to be used a few days each year.

Girl Who Forces Her Way to the Front of Every Picture Opportunity: Oh.

Sassy New Favorite: Yeah and no way is he going to take money from MY piggy bank so he can build HIS stadium.

Girl Who Forces Her Way to the Front of Every Picture Opportunity: Um, okay ... but my dad still worked for Mike Bloomberg and he's the mayor now.

Repetition, Part II

I found out today that the new director of the lower school is a big fan of The Fall. Apparently, he has all of their records. What? Who has all of their records? Even more importantly, who has all of their records and is in charge of running a school?

Does this mean that New Director is uber cool or does it mean that he's completely deranged?

Maybe he can introduce Mark E. Smith's brand of crazed ass rock to Interim Head Who Wears Red Pants. That would be quite entertaining.

Viruses Are Bad

Yahoo has changed its front page these days for e-mail. After having to stare at the same annoying whitebread woman for a long long time, they now have a rotating cast of freshly scrubbed faces for our enjoyment. Whether it is a lovely blonde sticking her red stained tongue at us or a scary looking old man yelling something at someone, it is a welcome change. Plus, the helpful folks at Yahoo offer up a new tip in the text of these messages about how best to utilize their services. Take that g-mail!

The pictures don't always match with the same messages except for one. Somehow everytime I get the message that reads "We don't just find viruses. We zap 'em," I get this strange picture.


I don't quite understand it. Is this a not so subtle accusation at the Chinese for starting all of the computer viruses? Or is the accusation directed at the fairer sex for spreading other kinds of viruses? Very odd. Or is it suggesting that strong women with beautiful bosoms can destroy viruses? Any theories?

Rocking Out in Cramped Places

After having already seen The Double in one unique locale, I was ready to see them in the hull of a boat -- the Lightship Frying Pan to be exact.


And then the balloons bearing the new CD's name were released!



As I was watching the band play, I decided that I would never see this band in a club. And then I thought maybe I should make that rule for all rock bands - no more clubs for me, just parking lots and boats and whatever else comes my way.

In unrelated news, I'm experimenting with using blogger's picture uploading service on these last two posts. This allows me to have larger images of my pictures available. Simply click on the picture and you'll be much closer to sweaty indie rockers and previously used soap than you ever thought you wanted to be. I still haven't figured out exactly how I want to size these yet and some of them end up being too big for the screen when you click on them. Much like Balgavy and his pursuit of podcasting perfection, I promise to hope to get better.

Big Question

I'm not sure if my Demon in the Dark soap looks more like something that Superman would be very afraid of or soap that Hulk would use.

This Sometimes is a Baseball Blog

The playoff race is tight, tight, tight this year. Alas, no Mets or Orioles excitement but there are still plenty of great races going on. My take on the postseason worthy teams of 2005.

AL East:
Boston - Sorry Weasel and Apes, but this team just isn't quite as romantic now that they are World Champions. That doesn't mean that I'm rooting for them to lose to the Yankees but it just isn't the same. Still, I would like to see them win two World Series in a row if no for other reason to continue to shut the Yankees' fans up. Ortiz is truly a beast but can they win with an iffy Schilling and Timlin as their closer? It is always nice to watch a game from Fenway so I always root hard for the Sox to advance far.

New York - I'm so sick of watching this team in October. That being said, if they can make it to the playoffs and have guys like Aaron Small and Shawn Chacon lead them, this will easily be the most interesting Yankees team since '96.

AL Central:
Chicago - I don't know why I can't get behind this team. They haven't won a World Series since 1917 yet you don't hear them bitching all the time about it. They play on the unglamorous South Side and when they win, all the stinking Wrigley yuppies get upset. So why am I so ambivalent? Their asshole owner? Their boring stadium? Ozzie Guillen? I don't know but this team always has kind of bored me and even when they are really good, they don't seem very scary. Apes predicted in May that this team wouldn't even make the playoffs. Even though, they have lost eleven and a half games off of their lead since 8/1, it would take an absolutely monumental collapse over the remaining two weeks to entirely miss out on the postseason.
Although if Cleveland overtakes them, I will be wrong by chiding Apes that they would never be able to catch the Chisox. Although, he did say that the Tigers would possibly catch them as well so I don't know how much credit I can give him on this one.

Cleveland - I am so in love with this team. I knew that this team was getting better and expected a contender by next year. But 2005? They are unstoppable right now! I love Sabathia and the way he wears his cap. He's a big mofo who is afraid of muggers and as far as I know still lives with Mommy. They have some great young players and some grizzly old fuckers like Bob Wickman. The Indians haven't won a World Series since '48 and I'm pulling for some big things to happen.

AL West:
LA of Anaheim - Dumb team name, dumb city, and as Dave pointed out they have an annoying habit of Anglicizing Latin player's names, i.e. Francisco Rodriguez = Frankie Rodriguez. They've already recently won a championship and I'm rooting against this team making the playoffs.

Oakland - Another AL team that I can fully support. Billy Beane is a genius. I'm so sick of the Joe Morgans and Chris Russos of the world deriding Beane because of the book Moneyball. How many times have I had to hear "I'd make the playoffs if I had Zito, Hudson, and Mulder?" Nevermind the fact that Beane doesn't even get any credit for drafting those guys. He is smart enough to draft those guys but then gets penalized in the court of ignorant baseball opinion for having them on his team? And like the genius that he is, he decided to jettison Mulder and Hudson this offseason a year before they both could leave. Funny how I haven't heard Joe Morgan intone, "I could make the playoffs if I had Joe Blanton, Zito, and Dan Haren" much this year. This team is likable, plucky, and always underappreciated. What these fuckhead baseball people fail to understand is that Beane never said he had invented a new way to win -- he is just saying that a team in his market has to find value in areas that are undervalued. And they haven't embarked on the Daric Barton era yet.

NL East:
Atlanta - I used to really really really hate this team. But now that the Mets haven't been good in awhile and two of my least favorite Braves have left the team - one even found his way to the Mets, I don't hate them nearly as much. Granted, the Tomahawk Chop still is awful. And their fans are possibly the worst in baseball. The fans are spoiled from all the winning? Boo fucking hoo. What a crock of shit! What this organziation has done since 1991 is truly astounding. Because they have only one World Series championship during this remarkable run, they don't get nearly enough credit. I still won't root for this team in the playoffs but my hatred has diminished. I wonder how much John Smoltz will have left in October after already throwing more innings than any year since 1997.

Philadelphia - I can't believe this team is actually winning. I can't see them doing anything in the postseason if they make it that far but I would have no problem rooting for them. In fact, if they are the Wild Card team, they will be the team I will be pulling for the most. I'd love to see Ryan Howard jack a few homers off of LaRussa's bitches in the first round.

Florida- Yes, they've already won twice in the past ten years but I wouldn't be that upset seeing this team in the playoffs for two reasons - Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis. Maybe Beckett will get hot at the right time again and if so, this team will be quite formidable. I'm quite surprised that Mckeon hasn't been playing hot shot callup Jeremy Hermida more.

Washington - This past weekend might have been the final nail. How do you blow a 5-0 9th inning lead with 2 outs? Ouch. Frank Robinson is a crusty old bastard and I love it. I love that he pulls starting pitchers in the 2nd inning because he doesn't like what he sees, not because of game results. I love the fact that he'll put in a pinchrunner on a 2-0 count. Ah Frank. How is this team still in the race when they seemed like they were finished? If this team makes the playoffs and you don't root for them, you are a Communist.

NL Central:
St. Louis - Three words: Peaked too early

Houston - Even though this team has never even been to a World Series, I can't get behind them. First of all, they play in Texas. Secondly, Roger Clemens. That's enough, isn't it? However, a healthy Clemens, Pettitte, and Oswalt will be quite formidable in a short series and I could see this team winning the pennant.

NL West:
San Diego - They have a good shot of cruising to the postseason with a record under .500. The '87 Twins only won 85 games and the '73 Mets only won 82. If you make the playoffs, that is all that is needed. With a great bullpen, Jake Peavy, and some solid hitters, this team could surprise in the postseason. With the likes of St. Louis, Houston, and Atlanta likely mucking up the NL playoffs, I'll be rooting hard for the Padres.

Baseball Trip, Put This Sucker to Bed Already

The Last Day


A hike in the heat while avoiding large piles of horseshit everywhere. Apes places a call with his bookie.


Springbrook High School Reunion. Go Blue Devils!


Balgavy in his element.

Long Beach Armada vs. Japan Samurai Bears - the travelling team of Japanese players.


Hooray Armada!


LA At Its Best

Some of My Best Friends Are Penguins

Yesterday's NY Times had an article in the Science section that reminded me that sometimes the Onion is not always necessary.

Apparently, many conservatives across the nation see the film March of the Penguins as an ode to "traditional" values. Some snippets:

On the conservative Web site WorldNetDaily.com, an opponent of abortion wrote that the movie "verified the beauty of life and the rightness of protecting it."

At a conference for young Republicans, the editor of National Review urged participants to see the movie because it promoted monogamy. A widely circulated Christian magazine said it made "a strong case for intelligent design."

"March of the Penguins," the conservative film critic and radio host Michael Medved said in an interview, is "the motion picture this summer that most passionately affirms traditional norms like monogamy, sacrifice and child rearing."

"That any one of these eggs survives is a remarkable feat - and, some might suppose, a strong case for intelligent design," he wrote. "It's sad that acknowledgment of a creator is absent in the examination of such strange and wonderful animals. But it's also a gap easily filled by family discussion after the film."

Rich Lowry, the editor of National Review, told the young conservatives' gathering last month: "You have to check out 'March of the Penguins.' It is an amazing movie. And I have to say, penguins are the really ideal example of monogamy. These things - the dedication of these birds is just amazing."

"Some of the circumstances they experienced seemed to parallel those of Christians," he said of the penguins. "The penguin is falling behind, is like some Christians falling behind. The path changes every year, yet they find their way, is like the Holy Spirit."

Mr. Hunt has provided a form on the Web site lionsofgod.com that can be downloaded and taken to the film. "Please use the notebook, flashlight and pen provided," it says, "to write down what God speaks to you as He speaks it to you."

As one religious colleague at work pointed out, "The penguins look for a new mate every year. Is that the kind of behavior these churches want to advocate?"

But this article got me thinking - this kind of dubious logic can be translated to pretty much any film. For example, in the 40 Year-0ld Virgin, Steve Carell has fallen behind. This, of course, is like some Christians falling behind. The women he doesn't bed changes every year, yet he eventually finds his way to getting laid. This is like the Holy Spirit.

What a load of crap!

I bet Weasel is up for the challenge of coming up with some other better examples of movies that could be co-opted in this manner. And if it wasn't so damn sacrilegious, I'm sure Maestra would participate in this game. The possibilities are truly endless.


Don't tell Michael Medved but I think the penguins to the back left are sodomizing each other.

Also in yesterday's paper, I found the obituary of Joseph Smitherman, the former mayor of Selma, Alabama. He was one of those wily politicians of the last forty years who were able to say that they were just kidding around about the whole "we hate blacks" thing once the tide has turned -- "Some of my best friends are black and some of them are on my staff!" My favorite part of the obituary is this gem:

In a nationally televised news conference in early 1965, the mayor was heard replacing the last name of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with the word "coon." He later said he had just had a conversation with a Selma bail bondsman named Martin Koon and that it was an honest slip of the tongue.

I didn't mean to say "During the slave period, the slave owner would breed his big black with his big woman so that he would have a big black kid–that's where it all started." What I meant to say was "During the indie rock period, Steve Albini would breed his big black with his big woman so that he would have some kick ass rawk - that's where it all started." I just got confused about the whole thing because I had just been listening to my favorite Big Black record.

Baseball Trip, Days 7 and 8

The drive from San Diego was quite nice even though we were all feeling sick from eating the largest brunch portions ever known to man. I trust that Youthlarge will have a nice food wrapup of the trip eventually.


Dodger Stadium is amazing. So what if they had to kick out a bunch of Latinos to build it! Right? Right?


That guy is always taking self portraits.

After arriving back at Dave and Jen's, Balgavy, Apes, and I cruised the Strip looking for a decent place to get a drink. Verdict -- don't go cruising the Strip looking for a good place to drink. We ended up at Knitting Factory Hollywood at 1 am where Balgavy asked the bouncer outside where a good place to get a drink was. He responded, "You can drink in here ... if you don't mind a little hip - hop." So we ventured in for overpriced beer and crappy hip - hop. Balgavy is the only one who had a camera so I trust that he will have some great pictures in a day or so on his blog. As we left, he said, "I can't believe that LA is so lame that we had to go to an offshoot of a New York venue to get a drink."


The next day, Youthlarge, Handwashings, and I took part in the L. Ron Hubbard life exhibit. Quite illuminating. Did you know that he lived with and got to know 21 different cultures including Caucasians? Did you know that he was a true professional in 29 different professions including humanitarian? Did you know that the most privileged of his crew dress in uniforms that look like a pilot's uniform?

I was the only one brave enough to try the e-meter. Apparently, if the life exhibit attendant is there to mess with the knobs to get the desired result, it will show that you feel stress when you are told to think of a stressful situation. When asked what the e-meter had just told me, our tour guide said, "It just tells you that you have remembered something from your life." Ah, yes.

Handwashings does an excellent job detailing our fun times at the museum. If he doesn't write about it in full, make sure to ask him about it when you see him -- whether you are a Coffee Flats regular or maybe just visiting from Maine in November.


After going to see 40 Year-Old Virgin, we headed to the heavenly Dodger Stadium once again.


While I did disappoint Youthlarge's friend Neil on Thursday night by not being able to wholeheartedly put Dodger Stadium in my top five ballparks (I would probably put it at number six), I can definitely state that the parking lot is the best of all ballpark parking lots -- by a large large margin.

The View From Water Taxi Beach

A great place to celebrate Youthlarge's 29th.

Baseball Trip, Days 5 and 6

San Diego - Paradise after too many days in the desert.


The view from the outfield play area. It was great - a small field for playing catch or wiffleball. And you didn't even have to miss a pitch because of the giant screen. The hill overlooking the field reminded me of countless minor league parks and it is a nice touch.


The next day, we went to Ocean Beach. This beach included a really really long pier that included a good restaurant where we ate lunch.


So many picture opportunities.


I was fascinated by the tiny houses right by the beach. When were they built? Why haven't they been torn down for big vacation houses? Interesting.


Not only is Handwashings running in the upcoming marathon but he amazingly also finds the time to get in some surfing.


When I was a kid, I used to wonder if there would ever be a bridge across the ocean. This pier leads me to believe that it might be built soon.


Hott, Part III


Album Cover
l to r: Mitch (The Love) - drums, SHR (The Asian Killa) - vox, sax, and keyboards, M (The Balginator) Balgavy - bass and handclaps, JCPCP (The Apeman) - guitar and vox


Inspired the night before by some young hooligans outside the game, Balgavy prepares himself for some serious freestyle walking.


Fuck yeah!


Hang loose, dude.


The view from the upper concourse of the ballpark shows our country in a nutshell - natural beauty, ugly industry, and incredible monuments to the automobile.


Padres vs. Astros, Game Two