No Abe Lincoln Sightings But It Was a Good Halloween Nonetheless

I'm not sure what is more disturbing: The Man Dorothy, the absence of the Tin Man, or that bizarre Cowardly Lion

Mondale the Cricket Player and Jelani the Puss in Boots

Listmaker the Arthur and DB the Interim Head sans red pants.

Tin Man surfaces - I love all the genderbending at my school.

The assembly seen through the eyes of Mondale and Jelani.

MacTechWitch as Captain Underpants

Not to be a prude or anything, but I'm not so sure I would let my third grader come to school as Leatherface. But that's just me.

Thank You Youthlarge for deciding what I would be AND making the necessary stuff for it.

Bocce Man!

You is Very Beautiful

My first foray into posting things on the internet (I don't count Balgavy posting things for me on his website) was a little over two years ago on fotolog. I was excited to start posting photos I had taken on the new digital camera.

For a good long time, I was pretty faithful in posting a new photo everyday. But the slowness of the site was maddening and the annoying Brazilians kept posting obnoxious comments on too many posts.

When I finally started putting pictures on my blog, I slowed to a crawl on Fotolog. The last picture I posted was in February. The last picture before had been months before. Amy had started a fotolog so I was checking it regularly and was sick of looking at the same picture on my fotolog. The last picture I posted was one I had just taken of "The Gates."

Since then, I have gotten a few random comments left on my page including two in the past few days. What the hell? Why are people still posting on my page considering I haven't updated in many months? How are they even finding my page? Doesn't it get buried if I don't ever update?


Kisses!

I hope that one of my single friends e-mails Fernanda so he can report back.

All the Right Moves

I never ever ever watch Saturday Night Live anymore and I worry about those who do. What a load of shit that show is. Still, when I saw Franz Ferdinand were on this past week, I decided to DVR it and watch them. I also watched a few minutes of the other parts of the show and was astounded at just how bad the whole endeavor is.

Then it was rock time. I like the first Franz Ferdinand record. It is nothing monumental but there was a two month period last year where I couldn't get enough of it. I haven't heard anything from the new release so I was excited to hear some new songs and also to see the band perform. I'd never even seen one of their videos before so I was curious.

The band was fine. They looked good and had the right "moves" as Stone Groove once commented about Hall and Oates when we were watching them perform on SNL in the early 80's.

Rock & Soul Indeed

Franz Ferdinand's Salad Days

But the song was so incredibly repetitive. Okay, whatever. Often, the single isn't the best song anyway so I was still excited for the second song. But I couldn't believe they did a song from their last record. What? I've never seen that done before on this show. For the most part, every band plays its current single in the first slot and then the upcoming single is played next. How bad can the new album be if they don't even have enough faith to play two songs from it?

Apparently, the album does have some fans. I'm not willing to blow it off after watching one song on TV. But still, I wonder - how many bands actually play an old song instead of two new ones? That is pathetic.

Or is this the way things are done now on Saturday Night Live and I just wasn't aware of it? Is Lorne Michaels so into giving the masses what they want over and over and over again that he won't even let bands play two new songs anymore?

This Isn't a Baseball Blog But I Know Where You Can Find One

With baseball season wrapping up, there is no better time than now to start my new baseball blog -- Baseball Diaries. Basically, it will put all of my previous baseball writings in one easily accessible place. I have added photos to my old writings from 1999- 2001 and have added a few photos from 1992-1998.

I will post a new entry or two at least five times a week until I'm finished. Once, I have caught up to the present, I will start the 2005 entries one game at a time like I did last season.

As always, I try to make the writing interesting for non-baseball fans as well as baseball fans. If you don't believe me, aren't you at all a bit curious what the hell this is?


Also, please make sure to read some of the original Baseball Diaries written by Peter Hughes.

Congratulations Bobby and Gang! And Yes There is a Benny Agbayani Sighting

A sweep in the Japan Series!

Bobby and the rest of the gaijin


Thanks again to Youthlarge for forwarding on these great pictures.

Back by Popular Demand (Or I Just Don't Have Time to Write Much Right Now Because I'm Getting Ready To Launch My New Baseball Blog)

Last I delved into my top five songs book, I found some interesting posts.

Back to the well.
Again, I have not changed any spellings.

On this date:

1982
I didn't start writing in the book until November of 1982.
The first entry - 11/30
5. GLORIA - Laura Branagin
4. Nobody - Slyvia
3. The Girl Is Mine - Paul Mcartney and Michal Jackson
2. Stepp'n Out - Joe Jackson
1. Rock This Town - Stray Cats
Anyone have any idea what Nobody is? I have no memory of it.

1983
5. Uptown Girl - Billy Joel
4. Tommorow's (Just Another Day) - Madness
3. Heart and Soul - Huey Lewis and the News
2. Say, Say, Say - Michael Jackson and Paul Mcartney
1. It Must Be Love - Madness
A few days later, Love is a Battlefield made its debut.

1984
5. Strut - Sheena Easton
4. Out of Touch - Hall and Oates
3. On the Dark Side - John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band
2. Wake Me Up Before You Go- Go - Wham
1. Cool It Now - New Edition
Prince's Darling Niki and Sugar Don't Bite by Sam Harris (anyone remember that song) made big splashes soon thereafter.

1985
5. Money for Nothing - Dire Straits
4. And We Danced - Hooters
3. You Belong to the City - Glenn Frey
2. Power of Love - Huey Lewis and the News
1. Miami Vice Theme - Jan Hammer
Holy shit! A few days later, two songs debuted that I have no memory of at all -- Sidewalk Talk - Madonna and Girls Are More Fun - Ray Parker Jr.

1986
The last entry is from 7/15
5. Modern Woman - Billy Joel
4. That Was Then, This is Now - Monkees
3. Mad About You - Belinda Carlisle
2. We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart
1. Stuck With You - Huey Lewis and the News
The Jermaine Stewart '45 was the last one I bought until the indie rock craze of the early 90's.

On 9/1, I wrote, "Today I'm stopping the Top 5. I've been doing it since Nov. 82. I might start again in Jan. 87 until then this book will just gather dust!!"

Or be brushed off and put on the internet.

21 Years Later, Jesse Still Makes Me Laugh

Last week, I was playing a decoding game with a small group during reading time. I don't know how I kept a straight face during some of the guesses as the kids tried to figure out the correct pronunciation of the words.

Assign -- assing

Condemn -- condom

hymn -- hymen, hymie

Give me an H!

I am continually reminded why I enjoy my job so much.

I Can't Get Enough DJ Qualls

While watching the World Series, Youthlarge and I can't get over how much Astros' shortstop Adam Everett looks like a kinder, gentler DJ Qualls.



Although with his beard, Everett even has a little Dominic Monaghan from Lost to him which is obviously a step up.



Speaking of beards, Astro stalwart Jeff Bagwell looks much better with his beard than the dumb goatee he usually sports. In fact, now he's got a real GI Joe look to him.

Bobby V, How I Miss Thee

Thanks to this post on Can't Stop the Bleeding, I discovered that my beloved Bobby Valentine has brought much happiness to a moribound franchise. That's right - the Chiba Lotte Marines will play the Hanshin Tigers in the Japan Series. Screw the World Series, I wish I could watch this. Bobby V. and his squad take on the Tigers who play in the "Wrigley Field of Japan." I've got to move to Japan one of these years.

Check the Marines website for some amazing videos. The most recent one is of the celebration. As Youthlarge points out (thank you honey for finding these amazing pictures) the players in this country sure don't celebrate like this. Amazing.

Two Things I've Discovered in the Past 24 Hours

1. If you DVR a postseason baseball game and start watching about 55 minutes into it, you will catch up to live right as the game ends.

2. Mondale might be able to take out middle-aged bosses and American novices in Conkers, but when a nine year-old girl challenges him and "Seabiscuit" to a match during recess, he is no match. It was beautiful. Girl Named After a Season had deadly accurate aim. I knew Mondale wouldn't concede anything to the kid. There were twenty children gathered around cheering the proceedings. After five minutes or so, Mondale wound up and let loose a hard hit. Unfortunately for him, his conker shattered in an explosion of broken dreams. It was a sight to behold.

Wedding in Livermore, CA

Afternoon buffet time at the mall where the Peanut "pregamed."

The Peanut right before the ceremony. She spent almost the entire ceremony like this. At the very end, she woke up and started crying for her dad. But he was a busy groomsman.

Youthlarge was quite amused by the place cards.

Pomegranate Indeed


If the barrels were not enough of a tipoff, the wedding was indeed at a vineyard.

Youthlarge's cousin and beau. After they exchanged vows in Western attire, they changed into some traditional Korean garb. Maybe I should have agreed to dress up like this at my wedding. Neither Youthlarge or I thought of the idea of changing for only thirty minutes or so.

Yeah, I was excited to have flown 3,000 miles just for a weekend wedding. Not that I repeatedly made that known to Youthlarge over the past two months or anything.

Somehow The Peanut ended up with a Green Day t-shirt. I'm not sure how or why.


A Bottle For the Road

Rainy Day Trip

Last school year, the third grade took its field trip to Ellis Island on a beautiful spring day. This year, we changed the curriculum around a little and decided to do it in the fall. No big deal. October has great weather, right?

Unfortunately for us, we decided to go on the trip in the middle of Rainfest '05. No matter, I had a trusted British sidekick with me and we all know that rain doesn't faze those fuckers.

Documenting the Documenter

For a few minutes, we herded the kids to the deck for a bunch of yelling and pointing at the Statue of Liberty. Bowles/ Mondale enjoyed an apple with the tourists during the chaos that was going on directly behind me.


Then a kid in his class (Professor Longhair) bit a kid in my class. Mondale gets on the horn to New Director to see if we should send Longhair and his chaperone mom (who could care less that her third grader acts like a two-year old) on the next ferry back to school without participating on the trip. The answer was no - send him to the principal's office upon arriving back at school.


If I remember correctly, Mondale took a picture of this same thing and then I ripped off his idea.

Yom Kippur With the New Pornographers

Youthlarge says this video screen image makes the band look like something out of Syd and Marty Kroft's imagination.




J. Edward Keyes has a good review of the show on his blog. And he makes me seem like a big asshole at the same time. Check it out.

Someone Is Just a Little Bit Obsessed

Last Year It Was The Freddie, This Year It's Stop Making Sense

Science Teacher Who Likes to Rile Up My Class and Then Leave writes things on the board every morning that he's in school (which is only three days a week - sweet gig). During the first week of school he wrote, "Please choose one: A. This ain't no party. B. This ain't no disco. C. This ain't no fooling around."

My perplexed third graders inquired as to the meaning of the message. The next day, I brought in the song "Life During Wartime" to play for the class. They got up and immediately started singing along to the chorus. I mentioned that the Talking Heads were pretty well known and that they should ask their parents if they had any of their music at home. Constant Interrupter stood up and cried, "I've seen a movie with this band and the singer is wearing this really big suit and he looks really funny!"

Of course, I brought in the dvd of Stop Making Sense the next day. Over the past few weeks, we've watched a bunch of it. The class loves both "Life During Wartime" and "Once in a Lifetime" mainly because they love the crazy dancing in both songs. Constant Interrupter always requests "Pyscho Killer" but I think I'll steer clear of that one. Science Teacher Who Likes to Rile Up My Class and Then Leave has come in a couple of times to practice some of the simpler "Once in a Lifetime" dances like the "Sing to Your Hand" dance and the "Follow the Bouncing Ball Dance With Your Hand as the Ball and Your Arm as the Bottom of the Screen" dance.


Amazing Dance Teacher has taken this love for the Talking Heads and has incorporated it into an upcoming dance. I haven't seen any of the practices yet but I do know that it involves seventeen matching oversized coats. Cheese Boy brought in a humongous jacket to school the other day and told me that he was going to be David Byrne for Halloween although he keeps referring to him as David Byrnes.

A few days ago, I decided to branch out and show them some of R.E.M.'s Tourfilm. It didn't go over too well. At first, a few kids complained that it was giving them a headache. While Stop Making Sense is easy to digest, Tourfilm is all herky-jerky artsiness alternating between black and white and color. The quiet boredom quickly turned into outright hostility. A crowd of kids gathered near the TV and heckled Michael and by extenstion, me.

What does R.E.M. even mean?

Sounds like the Beatles but not nearly as good.

He's no David Byrne.

His voice is good but I don't like his dances.

Cheese Boy knew "Stand" and started singing along.

I put on "Pop Song '89 with a shirtless Stipe. This drew quite a reaction.

OHMIGOD!, He's SOOOOO skinny!

Get him some calcium.

Drink some milk.

Eat a hamburger.

Then it turned really ugly with six or seven girls taking turns screaming insults.

Shave your awful mohawk.

Gross, it's not even a mohawk. What is it?

Is he wearing makeup?

Are you sure that isn't Michael Jackson?

He looks like death.

He looks like a zombie.

He's the living dead!

Then the eerily prescient comment:

He'll never get married.

Followed by the bizarre question:

Are you married to him?

I was told by Broken Arm Girl with No Front Teeth to never put that movie on ever again.

Moon Is Spelled Cool

I am not a cutesy kind of teacher. No cuddly themes or stuff like that in my classroom.

There are a few times each week when my class gets split into two groups. The past four years I've simply called them "Blue" and "Green." I've gotten sick of that so I asked my class to come up with ideas of what we could name our groups. From over one hundred suggestions, we have narrowed our options to three: "The Pencils" and "The Erasers," "The Stars" and "The Moons," and "The Puppies" and "The Kittens."

I am obviously against the third option. Screw that girly shit. Last week for homework, I had the students write which option they liked the best and why. Many of the boys wrote that they didn't like "The Puppies/ Kittens" option because it was too girly - not that they might be reacting to my opinion or anything like that. Unfortunately, there are only six boys out of seventeen kids. And I know that one boy is leaning heavily in the "Puppies/Kittens" camp.

A few highlights:
Unique Outlook Boy writes:

I chose puppies and kittins becase they are good for pets. I think dogs and kittins are good for our world. They do stuff we like when they help us plant flowers. They dig stuff in the ground using their claws. Do you think that is hard for thar nails? Yes, I do, but they do it anyway. Thats why I think puppies and cittens should be the group names.

Girl Who Brought in a Class Set of Conkers for the class writes:

I think moon and stars are the best choice becuse moons and stars are pretty. I like moons and stars better becuse they are rarly seen. Pencils and erasers are always around school. Puppies and kittens you see walking to school and walking home. The boys I don't think will like puppies and kittens. Moon is spelled cool! Star has two meanings like your a star or a star in the sky. But the words pencel, eraser, puppies, and kittens do not. Moons and stars are around when you are aselp so you never relly see them that's why its good to have moons and stars in the classroom.

Goes to the Nurse, Bathroom, or the Water Fountain as Often As She Can

Puppies & The Kittens

I like this name because it is cute and we are very innoscent. We are all young and playful like puppies and kittens. This is the best choice because we all love puppies and kittens.

Soon the kids will read their writing to each other and we will have a final vote.

For the record, Youthlarge does not get a vote.

One Nation Under (Stone) Groove

Before I leave this flooding hellhole of Brooklyn for the weekend, I'd be remiss if I didn't urge you to record the rerun of Independent Lens about George Clinton.

Good stuff.

In New York, I think it is on Friday morning at 2:30 am.

Sugarhill Supper Club

While some Jews celebrated the New Year last Monday, I celebrated in my way -- with some soul food in Bed Stuy.

Jason, his roommates, Youthlarge, Leah and her entourage went to Sugarhill Supper Club for Open Mic night. Jason had been there two other times and had raved about it. It did not disappoint. Lady Jasmine saw to that.


I highly recommend that you check this place out if you like seeing a former football player turned drag queen do her routines to some fine soul music and then follow it up with her stand up comedy before hitting on your cousin Jason. Or if you like being called out by the drag queen as her Caucasian friends. Or if you like a sharp dressed man named The Silver Fox who will perform some great music for you. Or if you like trumpet players dressed to the nines. Or if you like the Commodores, Wilson Pickett, or Sam Cooke. Or if you like good barbeque and hot biscuits.


Post show good times.

Earlier in the evening, we met Jason's good friend from down the block. He hopped right onto this available bike to pose.

Then he got all gangsta on us.

With Yom Kippur about to descend upon me, I wonder how I can top my Rosh Hashannah.