The first games of the brand new season will be this Saturday. The championship winning Coffee Flats Terrors have splintered. Those with an official shirt got to stay. Those who didn't were purged from the records like they never existed.
Thus, a new team. Returning Coffee Flatters include Jim, Mike, and me.
Bottom Row
Youthlarge - Dixie Toot: Can usually be found at the bar eating beer cheese until called into action. Left-handed. The "Tanner Boyle" of "If You Want My Bocce."
Listmaker - Hot Legs: Playing Style - Eddie Murray
Adam - Gettin' Hungry: Hungry not for pizza, nor for burgers. Nothing tastes as sweet as victory on the bocce court.
Middle Row
Mitch - Downtown Train: Please stand clear of the closing doors. This train rolls local AND express.
Alex - Lethal Dose of Love: Combining crude strength and European style, he knows no fear and is prone to brute acts of physical intimidation. He's also dead lucky.
Jim - The Balltrap: If your balls get near mine, there's no telling what might happen
Back Row
Dave - One Part Handbags to Two-and-a-Half Parts Gladrags: I would describe my playing style as "proto-futurist." Greatest accomplishment in the bocce arena-- making a 9-year-old boy cry in front of his parents.
Glen - Down the Gasoline Bocce: My bocce style I would say can be described as “Oops!” Pretty much sums it up.
Elizabeth - Oh God I Wish I Was Home Tonight: From the shores of Rhode Island comes the dexterous wrist action and subtle poise of Ms. Elizabeth B.
Mike - Reason to Believe: Enigma. My bocce style is - Unstoppable
Not Pictured
Skippy - Young Turk: Maybe I’ll show up once, maybe I won’t.
I was at Floyd last night getting in some last minute practicing. I noticed that the trophy Apes had broken at Celebration Night had finally been fixed and returned to its proper place of glory by the court.
The last we had seen the trophy, our team name had been misspelled.
Floyd was terribly embarrassed by this mistake and blamed the trophy maker. They insisted that they would have it fixed. And so they did, I suppose.
I was also happy to see that they had finally added The Coffee Flats picture to the row of championship photos. But upon further inspection, I noticed something quite disheartening.
That's right. Yours truly had been excised from the proceedings. That's me on the far left. You can almost see half of my face. At first, I was upset but then I realized that this made sense.
From the beginning of last season, things just didn't seem right. Cap'n Terror "inadvertently" dropped me from the e-mail list that included such essential information as: 1. The season had indeed started and 2. Who wants a shirt?
Without an official shirt, I was banished from the proud Terrors. But that is okay. I've got Rod Stewart and I know in my heart that I'm still a champion. Oh yeah, our first match with the Terrors will be Feb. 11. I'm not saying that you should come watch. But let me just say, if you don't, I'm not sure you can really call yourself a true fan of sport.
8 comments:
Here, get your game face on: Rod-Trooper.
you can re-write history all you want with your faux-diaspora/banishment from the victory garden. we'll settle this on the court on 2/11. meantime, if you think we're not sticking around tomorrow to heckle you after our game is done, you're in for an unpleasant surprise.
if stating the facts is rewriting history, then okay.
at the most, the quotation marks around the word "inadvertently" are an exaggeration.
just trying to take the rivalry up a notch here. though the split of the team along shirt lines wasn't so much a banishment as a simple way to solve the issue of needing to split into 2 teams.
where will the Terrors strike on 2/11? it's gonna take more than a simple "let's roll" to prevent our pilots from hitting their targets. you aren't the only team holding surreptitious practices.
COME ON THEN!!!!!
City boyz Bowles.
no dirt on what caused this rift? come on!!
sweet touch terror wanted more playing time!
make sure to read mondale's post about yesterday's action.
http://trdowm.blogspot.com/2006/02/if-you-want-my-bocce.html
i'll be happy just to be competitive against next week's big terrors match. they are the defending champs. i hope to shape my squad of green rookies, foreigners, jews, pizza fiends, and booger eating morons into a formidable opponent for the terrors sometime by mid april. for now, we're just happy to be here.
That Sweet Touch, what a selfish prick. But I heard he just wanted to allow a few more familiar faces into the league. What fun is having a team if 12 people are sitting around doing nothing every week?
Post a Comment