Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. Youthlarge keeps the apartment stocked with some great soap but this soap might be just a wee bit big. And yes, the letters on the soap do stand for Extra- Large Soap.
2. I'm currently addicted to this CD.
3. The clomping neighbor upstairs might be even more annoying than the Salsa parties downstairs. Former tenant Deborah's theory is that Upstairs Neighbor Sharon is a prostitute. The fact that she is clomping around in high heels late at night is Deborah's main evidence.
The other night, I was asleep on the couch to get some peace and quiet from the coughing Youthlarge when I was awakened by the unmistakable sounds of sex. When they were finished, someone left the apartment (her John?) shortly thereafter. It was 3:30 am.
Perplexing Fact: High Heels Woman is always wearing sneakers when we happen to see her in the hallway. She's clomping around as I write this. Yesterday, I briefly tried to follow her heels by banging on the ceiling with an umbrella. My Orioles umbrella to be exact. It just made her walk louder.
4. I'm accepting guest submissions for this blog. Either write as the hero himself or as people who know him. Seriously, send me your writing and you too can perplex women across this great land of ours. Read the comments if you are confused.
5. FM Adaptors for iPods are the biggest load of shit since New Coke.
6. What? No Handwashings or Hater Larry here? Bah.
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1 comment:
Do prostitutes stomp? I never knew that. I thought they were mostly recumbent. I may have to rent Pretty Woman to see what JR does.
As for the heel stomping/always in sneakers conundrum, perhaps she isn't wearing heels. Perhaps when she takes off her sneakers she has horrifically gnarled corns on her feet. Hence the noise- hard skin on hardwood floors.
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