Crash song
Land of the Dead video game
The night was an interesting one. Both Balgavy's and my work pools came down to the wire. Chris Larry had some amazing quips. Some of the highlights:
On the chances of that pimp song winning the Oscar - "Eminem already won. Oscar's rap hymen has been broken. I think it can win."
On Dolly Parton - "She could have played the lead in Transamerica."
During the montage for Original Score - "Geez, why don't they just do the awards in Latin?"
On Penelope Cruz - "She's so not hot, guys. Right? She's the kind of woman that women think is what we think is hot but so isn't."
On P.T. Anderson - "He sucks! Boogie Nights is like a Quentin Tarantino made for TV movie."
On what sucks more, Crash or Magnolia - "Magnolia! The raining frogs are the tipoff."
During a scene of Joaquin and Reese singing together - "The dead can't defend themselves."
When Crash took Best Picture - "Hollywood will always give itself a reacharound. This doesn't surprise me."
So Crash won. Oh well. Whatever. The Oscars are a joke anyway. I haven't even seen the movie. But for an interesting discourse on the subject, check out film critic Matt Zoller Seitz's blog.
When it was all said and done, we had two co-winners, Mitch and Mike.
The winners and the amazing host.
The night began to wind down.
But wait! Justin thought that he had also won! Jamie began the investigation.
While Jamie determined that Justin was wrong, I took the time to photograph some of Balgavy's amazing handiwork. Not only had he plastered the place with Variety ads, he had framed some nice postcards.
Constant Handwashings
Just when we thought it was safe to call it a night, one of the two lawyers in attendance let Jamie know that maybe Justin had indeed won. You can't fool a lawyer.
Dave declared a three way for first! Jamie called for order.
The other lawyer, Anne, was called into service.
The mistake was corrected. Three winners! Two of them looked a little less happy than earlier in the evening.
21 comments:
"Two of them looked a little less happy than earlier in the evening." Understatement of the year. Mitch looks as pissed as Felicity Huffman when Reese Witherspoon pointed out that June Carter was a "real woman" in her acceptance speech.
My favorite part of this post is the refreshing revelation that men don't think women like Penelope Cruz is pretty but I have to say I don't remember seeing Pcruz there. Are you talking about Salma Hayak?
no, selma hayak was being drooled after. i brought up penelope cruz because i know at least one friend hates her. then she was slagged by chris. a few minutes later, she was featured in an ad and ridiculed even more by a few.
Oscar parties -- and anything else involving TV (say, sporting events, movies, Freaks and Geeks marathons) -- are notable exceptions to the "host never sits" mantra.
Although, truth be told, I stood for 90% of our O.P. last night. Mostly because all the chairs were taken, but still...
you should post some audio of hater larry and hater nelson and rest of the peanut gallery booing me.
Don't dis Dolly! I don't want to have to send my guys around to break anyone's legs. No joke.
Yo youthlarge... I was not leading the boos. But you had to expect it. The you cant play if your not there has been a running issues since day one so drop the outrage!
And country mouse, I love Dolly as well, but the lady has crossed over into wierdsville and you know it!
But I do like the audio clip idea, next year....
Hater Larry
the next time i'm on my deathbed, i'm going to ask for a visit from Mr. Met rather than an absentee oscar ballot.
dolly looked scary.
Weirdsville, scary... Tsch. Urbanites.
What was interesting about the nominated songs is that Dolly and Three 6 Mafia (or 1/2 mafia, if you simplify the fraction) are both from Tennessee, and Bird York played Nashville star Naomi Judd in a TV movie. And the big music movie was "Walk the Line", staring Louisiana born but Tennessee raised Reese Witherspoon, natch. What is this conspiracy by the Volunteer State to dominate movie songs?
And why no interpretive dance for Dolly? Was there concern that given the literalist nature of the other coreography (car crashes, pimpin') a dance about gender reassignment surgery would be too graphic?
I didn't really sit much due to the lack of available seating. I did take a few minutes off my feet early in the evening when I emailed updates on the standings to Youthlarge. Listmaker went to bat for her and convinced me a one-time exception should be made and she should be allowed to vote in the pool. I allowed it.
And next year, I'll make sure there's a tie-breaker.
Can you guys make a list of actresses you find unattractive so I can feel better and better about myself.
I'll give you guy something. MANY women find Leonardo DeCaprio very childish in looks. He is not sexy but looks like he belongs in middleschool
Debbie; Kathy Bates, Jessica Tandy, and John Lithgow in drag.
Signed, Missing-the-point-guy.
really..Kathy Bates?:)ha!
on my list of "women thought of as 'hot' that i find repulsive" in addition to Penelope Cruz there's Sarah Jessica Parker, Cameron Diaz, Paris Hilton (that may be somewhat universal), Jennifer Garner, Britney Murphy and more that i'm sure i can't remember. Tyra Banks is working her way onto the list too because she might be the most abhorrent person on earth.
wow, i think i agree with all of those on your list jamie. although not sure about tyra banks. and i diaz was so cute in there's something about mary so i don't know. and yeah, i couldn't agree more about sarah jessica parker.
sjp is a total hag. i think hilary swank is pretty gross too.
I agree with all of the girls mentiopned on the list.
Who do I think is beautiful? you ask
Ashley Judd
Natalie Portman
Jodie Foster
Mary Louise Parker
Angela Bassett
Julia Louise Dreyfuss....
Not pretty
Helen Hunt
Pamela Sue Anderson
Paula Abdul
I love this list. It'sooo superficial
Apes is almost right...
Paris Hilton: Generally gag me but I have seen her give a blowjob so...
Brittany Murphy: I sorta dig her but she has gotten less hot not more and I dig milfs...
Sarah Jess: She used to be hot, especially in the original Crash, Crang Canyon...
Tyra Banks is hot yes, but yes also abhorent.
Rater Larry
Youthlarge--
As I tried to point out on Sunday, I wasn't booing you or Listmaker......I was booing you AND Listmaker.
Hater Nelson
PS--I saw Tyra Banks on the street once in Chelsea. She does, in fact, possess the largest forehead I've ever seen in real life and......her skin was orange!!
Still creeps me out just thinking about it.
hater nelson, i expect a lawyer to come up with a better explanation than that.
About Paris Hilton...I think she's pretty hot; I think it's the eyes more than the blowjobs, but who nows?
Dan, I love the pacing of your blog. There is some real tension, and some pictures that tell more of the story than a 1000 of your words. Can I co-op a phrase?
I love Erik's look in this picture - http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4169/446/1600/IMG_0388.jpg - he is definitely defending himself from some stupidity. Get him Dani. Did everyone meet Dani? She is great.
And the picture of Mitch and the 4 blue candles rules Dan. And as Ezra said, "the hint of red in Marc..." - it's a nice picture.
Nice party Marc.
I am still annoyed at some poor choices, especially not choosing Crash for editing. G.C. Falcons in the winner's circle! And if I knew Tsotsi was a favorite, I would have taken it.
Has everyone heard about the quote from Serena Williams after the Oscar's? It was an interview on HDTV in front of the Vanity Fair party that she exuberantly declared how happy she was that Phillip Semen Hoffmore won the Oscar. Semen folks. Semen. I fell out of my seat when I heard this.
Oaktown 510,
Milton Bradley
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