The due date for signing my contract is this Monday. I've been told by Red Pants that starting on that day, they will begin looking to replace me. However, if they find someone they like, I will be given one last chance to decide. Ideally, I'd have until after the upcoming spring break to decide. But it looks like I won't be given that option.
I could just sign the contract and break it later but I refuse to do that even though many people do that. I just don't play by those rules.
So I'm completely confused. I have found out that percentage-wise, I did receive the largest raise in the entire school. I now am close to what I should be getting paid. Red Pants will not negotiate but the amazing L.S. Director said that he will do everything in his power to give me a big raise again next spring once we have a new Head. I began this year ready to leave but things have really turned around under the leadership of Mondale's countryman.
Still, I am feeling the itch to leave. I'm probably just using this money issue as an excuse to do what is probably the best thing for me. As one colleague asked me, "Do you really want to be a private school teacher your whole career? Part of that good 'ol boy network?" And the answer is no. If I don't leave this year, will it become increasingly easier to stay, especially if the incoming Head gives me another big raise next year?
I can always leave and then come back. If I don't leave, I'll always be thinking "What If?"
But that doesn't mean, I have to leave this year. I really love the people I work with. I'm happy. Why fuck with it? I'm not guaranteed a job at a good public school. What if end up miserable next year?
By saying that I'm not ready for an extension, I might have bought myself until Tuesday. Or maybe later. Who knows?
All I know is that tonight is the school auction and I plan on getting toasted.
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18 comments:
Why don't you keep your current job for one more year and use your summer to "really make a difference" by teaching in summer school at-risk program or something like that? You'll see if you're up for it, you'll make a difference in kids' lives and it will help you to make a more informed decision about your future.
I really resent the implication that those of us who choose to work in private schools are part of a "good ole boy network." That's just reverse-elitism crap, in my opinion. If you think you should be helping less fortunate kids in a public school, great. But if you're counting on getting a job at the good p.s. school or that other good Brooklyn public school (not sure the number), I really don't see much of a difference in the demographic. If you need a change, I can understand leaving. But definitely keep weighing how much you like the people - in my experience, not having friends at work is really, really awful. I know you can make new friends at a new job, but you never know if there will be cool people. There were dismally few in my last place.
At my last job, they kept trying to tell me "It's just as bad in all schools." They were wrong. Our workplace isn't nearly as bad. But it goes in the reverse, too. You may be thinking it will be so much better somewhere else and maybe it won't be. In the interest of objectivity, yes, you may find somewhere you could be even happier. I guess.
I am totally not helping.
I hope you don't go.
I feel like we're down to the wire. I've not commented publicly so far because anything I want to say, I can say it to your face. You will be a success wherever you go, You will find friendship and challenge wherever you go. Whatever you decide to do, commit to it 100% and enjoy the challenge.
Changing jobs is one of the most invigorating things a person can do. Remember, ENJOY IT!
anonymous,
are you my boss? because that is exactly what he said! let yourself be known. also, i'm not sure how much i really need to "make a difference" in kids' lives. i feel that is almost being stated as a put down. i don't deny that private school kids need good teachers too, but i've been in the private school world for 9 years now.
bri,
you are right about the good ol boy network thing. i just am so impressionable right now and am being pulled in so many directions. this decision is so difficult for me. someone said that comment to me and i was like yeah at the time. but i didn't mean for it to sound insulting. i think the person meant it in a "take a look at the top people at most private schools" kind of thing, not as an insult to teachers at our school - especially considering this is a person in our school!
if i do get a job at the p.s up the block, you are right - i won't find that much of a difference in the demographic but yet, i think it will be a drastic change. when i visited i was struck by the amount of latinos, african-americans, asians, etc. it had a much different feel than our school. much different. i love having kids from different backgrounds in my class - i learn so much from them and it is so interesting. that is all. as a public school kid my entire life, being in a private one is odd sometimes.
on another level, the public schools pay better, have much better health benefits and have a pension plan. the longer i wait, the harder it will be to make the change.
i don't have a problem with the environment at our school. it is a great school and i love the people. but that doesn't necessarily mean i should stay.
it still comes down to if i leave and don't like it, i can come back. if i don't leave, i'll keep wondering what it would be like in a p.s.
mondale,
love the picture. new?
and your comment cracks me up - you should be a motivational speaker.
I AM a motivational speaker, we all are. oh my god, i sound like someone from California!
The way I see it (hardly knowing your circumstances other than what you have written), you aren't going to get any more money out them this year and they are looking to play their ace by getting you to sign a contract. Normally, I'd say sign and keep looking- the social contract between employer and employee is long dead; we are all essentially at will employees now and the bottom line is work is a business transaction. In a market economy you sell your services to the highest bidder (and the bid isn't just money- security of tenure, benefits, quality of work life etc all count). However, you have said that you are not a contract breaker and I respect that- besides, a school isn't Morgan Stanley and it is highly unlikely that they would sell you down the river, right?
Then again you said: "on another level, the public schools pay better, have much better health benefits and have a pension plan. the longer i wait, the harder it will be to make the change. " Hmmm. The way I see it, the pension is a real deal maker. My computer whizz-kid brother, my mum, and my dad all chose government service over the private sector for pretty much that reason. Me, I'm still hopeful I'll invent something or write something that renders a pension moot. But then again, I'm a gambler and a moron.
Ultimately, its about you and Youthlarge.
Reading between the lines, I reckon you have made up your mind. I read many justifcations for going and few for staying. With that in mind, I have four suggested strategies:
1) Sign the contract while you are hot, get another year under your belt, a year you spend interviewing at other schools or holding your school to their implied promise of better money etc while developing a flexible 5 or 10 year career plan. Where do you want to be at 40? And how are you going to get there? I call this the "Pedro Martinez".
2) Say "no thanks"- shop yourself around in the off-season, and if the offers that come your way aren't to your liking, see if your current school will pick you up off waivers at the same pay scale. What is the competition like for your job if you were to put yourself in the place of a new applicant? How risky a proposition would that be? This I call the "Manny Ramirez".
3) Go. Go, and never look back. Get yourself into a public school you like, even if it isn't your first choice, and adjust your campaign from the inside until you get where you want to be. This one, "Jay Payton".
4) Stay and put it all behind you. Recognise that in real terms you might not have the highest salary but in % terms the school values you enough to have given you the biggest raise. And that you are a sentimental favorite. This is the "David Ortiz."
Whatever you choose, don't ever regret it. Just put your head down and charge.
now everything makes sense, thanks weasel. you are the wisest man in the land.
based purely on my own experiences and what i can glean from what you've written, i think you have to leave. the unknown is scary, but you seem to have already decided that you're going to leave, so you might as well do it now. i think putting it off for another year will just make you more impatient and make any problems with your current situation seem worse. "Why fuck with it [being happy]?" because "what if" is the worst question to have rattling around in your brain.
if i hadn't taken the opportunity to move to NYC 6+ years ago, i would be asking myself "what if" to this day. i was happy in DC - had great friends, a good apartment, i was making money. but part of me was in love and the other part of me knew that i needed to take the chance on a place where i had no job and no place to live because i knew it would benefit me in the long run to challenge myself. granted i had several friends tp help ease the transition, but as much as it has been far from perfect (that love thing never did work out), i'm so glad now that i made the decision.
trust your instincts - they're there for a reason.
Use the Force.
Wait a minute, if you leave, whose going to do all my work?
"...really make a difference" by teaching in summer school at-risk program or something like that?"
That'll be the day, when Listmaker gives over his baseball summers to the "at-risk."
There is just no way to know and that is scary. So here are some more of my questions and one comment.
* The pension thing - does a pension get you more than a TI*A-CR*F thing in the end? Mostly just curious on that one.
* How does public school hiring work? Don't they hire you into the system and then assign you? Though I know there's a way to get hired into a particular school, too. Would you be for sure able to get into a place you liked/chose or would it be luck of the draw?
* The health insurance issue alone might take it for me. I always forget how crap the spouse/partner insurance deal is here. Really crap. That might push me right on out.
in case my lovely wife is reading this, i should point out that by "the love thing never really worked out" i meant that that specific relationship didn't go anywhere. the fact that i ended up where i am (and with whom i am) only solidifies that i made the right decision as it allowed me to find the love of my life around whom the sun revolves.
TIAA-CREF could be better, it's OK but it's worth getting advice about your longer term plans and making sure that you have the right type of 'balance' within your TIAA CREF. Following on from some imdependent advice I've recently changed a few things around.
you need to find a job where they will cover your lovely wife insurance-wise, because we all know she has no idea what to do with her professional life.
Buy a Vanagon, become hippies, and travel from String Cheese Incident show to String Cheese Incident show selling kind nugs and being people's miracles.
I can just hear you now, standing in the tapers' area arguing with an incoherent man-carpet stained with bong water about how much better the early shows were before everyone found out about them, while Youthlarge strolls the shakedown sampling grilled cheese ("Hmm- manchego would have been a better choice for wonderbread").
I think Public Schools need you. But you do have to look out for yourself, and your happiness. Perhaps the students you see are privileged but don't convince yourself that you are not doing something for the greater good. You clearly are. Perhaps more so then in a public scool. I mean do you think you're able to "reach" more kids in your current school then you'd be able to in a public school? I guess neither of us would know that answer to that question at this point.
The frustrating thing is that in a public school you might not be able to be the type of teacher that you've become and are comfortable being.
When I taught in Montgomery County we literally had a scripted curriculum (for Language Arts) and you could not deviate from it, and you rarely had the time to do so when you wanted to anyway. However, the curriculum was very sound, the skills taught and the methods used were very good. But, a large part of the curriculums existence was to prepare for the state test, the MSA.
State tests are another issue. Everything rides on them. Again, the skills assessed are good skills for students to have, but should so much ride on just one test? In WA, the class of 2009 students can graduate but will not receive a diploma if they do not pass all areas of the WASL.
Now, Montgomery County is probably at the extreme in terms of what school districts are doing to prepare for their state test. I assume NY has a state test? If you were to teach in a NYC public school, assuming they don't have a scripted curriculum, I would think you would still be able to do many of the things you've been doing in the classroom the last few years if you are able to make a correlation between your lessons and the target skills that are being assessed in NY's state test. And your principals will want to know - they are under a ton of pressure for their school to perform well on the state test. That's pretty much the key.
When I moved to WA they did not have a scripted curriculum, but they do have a state test (the WASL) and there are certain teaching practices that you are required to do, Balanced Literacy Program/Guided Reading groups, etc. Fortunately for me I had been trained for and doing these things already in MD. And there are certain skills in Reading, Writing and Math that you know are going to be tested on the WASL which you have to prepare the students for and show evidence that you are doing these things. If there are certain things that a public school district wants you to be doing in the classroom and you have not done them before they will get you trained on them, but again this may go against what you are used to doing and what makes you happy teaching if you can't find a way to mesh the two styles. On the other hand, you never know you might like the new strategies you've learned.
I haven't taught in a private school so maybe these things won't be different for you, but be prepared for lots of meetings, meetings, committees, meetings and more meetings. Staff develop meetings, grade level meetings, intervention meetings (basically, what are you doing to bring up your lower students) and you need to have data and proof of everything you are doing. But as far as kids, parents, administrators, co-workers and overall environment goes, you never really know until you get in there - it varies from school to school. I would think that my experiences and your mother's experiences would be similar to those you might have in a NYC public school, but again maybe I'm just stereotyping demographics. You never truly know until you get in there. One thing that will almost certainly be different between private and public will be parent involvement. Expect that to be almost non-existent.
Again, I think public schools need teachers like you - smart, innovative and caring. Try to find out if the type of things you like to do in the classroom, which you have seen to be effective, will fly in your new school. I say this because you seem so happy where you are now in large part because of the freedom you have in the classroom. You may or may not get that freedom in a public school, how will that affect you? Not being happy where you are working obviously plays a large role in how you approach your job in a day-in and day-out.
Your job is mobile though and if you found yourself in a bad situation it won't be hard for you to get out of it. And it seems as though your current school would gladly take you back if you wanted to go back.
Basically, I think you'd be a superstar in a public school if the district isn't determined to have clone teachers. But then again, you are already a superstar where you are at and many of the other factros, such as commute, seem to be in your current schools favor.
sorry for the long post and I'm really sorry if it in any way isn't helpful, just wanted to give you a bit of information from my experience.
bri,
* The pension thing - does a pension get you more than a TI*A-CR*F thing in the end?
i believe so. from what i understand if you put in 3% for 10 years, you get a full pension. they do have tiaa, but they don't match it the way they do at our school. still, it is option to put your money in. still, it is much better to have a pension. just ask jamaican queen at our school.
* How does public school hiring work?
this is what i'm trying to figure out. and i'm thinking that i should have started this process months ago so i knew exactly what i was doing. if anything, this might be what keeps me around another year.
* The health insurance issue alone might take it for me.
yeah, the benefits are much much better to leave.
jamie,
i think this is the most hemming and hawing i've done in your presence (online but still) since the erika "does she like me or does she not like me" debacle of winter/spring '91. thanks for sticking with me on this one. this is probably the biggest decision i've made in my life to this point.
mondale,
i recently restructured my tiaa as well.
weasel,
you are never allowed to mention the string cheese incident in this space ever again. seriously.
bill,
wow, what a post. i love that you refer to me as a teaching superstar, i dig it.
yes, teaching to the standardized tests will be a pain in the ass but not enough to scare me away in general.
at least at the p.s. up the block, the teachers have a great amount of freedom to do what they want. and what they are told to do is amazing stuff that i'd benefit from learning more about. but i don't know if that is the case with all schools.
as far as meetings, i already have a lot and that doesn't scare me.
the red tape though will bother me but there are plenty of things that bother me about the admin. structure and the board, et all where i am now. nothing is perfect.
thank you to everyone with the great advice.
I say leave and take Me, bri,Mondale and Mactechwitch!
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