Christmas Eve: Our downstairs neighbors were having a super loud dance party. I was out. SHR did some serious pounding on the floor. This must have really pissed them off.
Every single night: Our asshole upstairs neighbor high heels it up while listening to nothing but loud bass while moving furniture. Sometimes we pound the ceiling with an umbrella or ball to fight back.
Two weeks ago:
We received the "please send me a tip" disguised as a Christmas card from our newspaper delivery guy. As previously stated, I refuse to tip the fucker this year. Not only for his obnoxious May behavior but other smaller transgressions.
Our paper and a neighbors' copy of The Wall Street Journal were kicked behind the fence. SHR deftly climbed over to get our copy.
The past three days our paper has been nowhere to be found. Other people on the block are getting theirs, but not us.
So who is responsible? The salsa dancers? The whore upstairs? The vindictive newsie?
My money is on the salsa partiers. The fact that our paper had been knocked aside on Tuesday is my main evidence. I picture the guy not being sure which was our paper but knowing that both were read by some whitey upstairs and figuring that he couldn't go wrong with knocking both over. I wonder if our neighbors have been getting their The Wall Street Journal the last three days. If not, that could be the clue that cracks the case.
I've been contemplating how to figure out who the culprit is for sure. I could go outside at 5 am and wait to see if the paper is delivered. If it is, I could sit in the park across the street and see who steals it. Or I could buy those exploding dye packs that they have over there at the bank and booby trap my paper upon delivery and wait for the fireworks.
Or I could just count down the days until I move out of this apartment. And continue to plot ways to get my revenge on my neighbors before moving out.
Phillies 9 Mets 4
2 weeks ago