Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Bocce, Beer, and Baseball

This past weekend was a busy one. Three shows in three nights but more on that later.

Also, there was bocce. You can read more about that here.

There was a party at Chris and Mary's. Alex wasn't so sure that he was happy with Anne's choice of beverage.

Youthlarge is always mugging. Beth and Phoebe are the blurry ones.

And, of course, the end of March is Fantasy Baseball time.

It Takes Me Forever To Read Books: If You Have Lent My A Book, Bought Me a Book, or I Bought Your Book, I Promise I'll Read It Very Very Very Soon

Paul Feig - Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin, 2005
Can I review a book that I haven’t read? It’s my blog so I say yes. Having loved Kick Me, I was extremely excited to read Feig’s second book. But then I started hearing that it wasn’t so great. Okay, fine. As long as it was half as good as Kick Me, I could live with it. I borrowed this book from Balgavy and Youthlarge read it first. She read it through to the end and was completey unimpressed. She said it was completely boring. Still, I had to at least give it a chance. After merely one chapter, I was out. Unbelievably boring, not funny, and just not worth my time.Utterly disappointing. I was looking for humor and pathos, instead I seemingly was going to get a book written for people who are still pining for a more sophisticated version of Porky's V. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound that bad. But believe me, don't waste your time on this book, again based on the one chapter I read.


Mark Haddon - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, 2003
Mondale recently wrote about this book.

I don’t have much to add . I did enjoy this book and yes it was a quick read. I found myself trying to compare characteristics of the main character with current and former students of mine. The first fifty pages drove me crazy and I almost quit. But I kept going and I’m glad I did. Intersesting story, interesting perspective, good stuff.


Lawrence Ritter - The Glory of Their Times, 1966 with additions in 1984
My grandparents bought me this book for my 13th birthday. I had always meant to get around to reading it but never did - that is until months before my 33rd birthday. I’m glad I did. By page 20, I was upset that eventually the book would end.

I love love love love this book!

Ritter set out in the early 60’s to interview as many players from the early days of baseball as possible before they died. There are 26 different oral histories in this book. All of the players finished their careers by 1947. I loved every last one of the chapters but my absolute favorites were the ones of the players who played at the turn of the century. The game was so incredibly different then that it almost seems like a completely different game. I loved this book so much that I almost feel like starting it again right now.

All of the players love to reminisce about their playing days and all say that they would do it all again in a second. The players love for the game suffuses each page with so much warmth and happiness. The narratives speak to a different time in our country. Not only do I feel like I understand the early history of baseball better, I feel like I understand this part of our country’s history a little better as well.

If you doubt how enjoyable this book is, sample this paragraph from Davy Jones, “It was during those years, I think about 1908 that I saw Germany Schaefer steal first base. Yes, first base. They say it can’t be done, but I saw him do it. In fact, I was standing right on third base, with my eyes popping out, when he did it.”

Jones goes on to spend the next page or so describing just how Schaefer achieved this feat.

If you like baseball at all, you must read this book. I even recommended it to a parent of a kid in my class. Every night, he and his parents take turns reading it to each other.

Germany Schaefer

Innocent When You Dream: The Tom Waits Reader, 2005
Thanks Shawn! This collection of interviews throughout the years was a fascinating read. The man knows how to spin a yarn. He’s so full of shit yet completely sincere. Anyone who likes Waits’ music should consider this a must read and it is ready to be lent out.


J. Niimi - Murmur, 2005
This is only the second book I’ve read in the 33 1/3 series. The only other one I read, Meat is Murder by Joe Pernice was a story with the album in question being a central point of the experience. As opposed to this one which is just rock geek stuff. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like it, but it was a wee bit much. Youthlarge bought me this and I’m curious to see what she’ll think about it. I definitely do not recommend this book to anyone who would go crazy reading sentences like this: “Proportion in Murmur hinges on that vertiginous I, or more specifically its absence.” That is one random sentence that I just happened to put my finger on while typing this. Just put on the fucking record. I wonder how the other books in this series compare to this one.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Job Update

Still haven't signed my contract at Current School but am waiting any moment to be told I have to decide within a few hours. However, at this point, it looks like I will have until 4/3, when school resumes.

School Up the Block that I really want to work at next year finally got in touch with me. I have an interview with them the second week of April.

I need to go to the Board of Ed to get my city teaching license. Apparently, state certification ain't enough. If I have to get fingerprinted again, I'm going to be pissed. This would be the 3rd time since I moved to NY. Someone needs to explain to these folks how the mail works and that fingerprints don't change.

I'm sending out eleven resumes tomorrow. I would like to send out another ten or so after that. More internet research is in my near future.

I went to my former grad school today to discuss the move with Career Services. I feel optimistic.

Still, I went to my school yesterday for a bit to take care of a few odds and ends (printing out fantasy baseball literature being my favorite part). This put me in a funk the rest of the day. I love it there and it is going to be so so so hard to leave.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Who's Up for Some Newhart This Saturday?

The legend is performing this Saturday in Brooklyn. I can get cheap seats -twenty bucks or so. I want to order tickets tonight! Let me know if you want a ticket.

Balgavy's Hero Dead at 84

I have been a big fan of the obituaries for years. Last week, my love for the death pages was once again renewed.

Robert C. Baker, Who Reshaped Chicken Dinner, Dies at 84

Robert C. Baker, an agricultural scientist who looked at chickens and envisioned chicken nuggets, not to mention chicken hotdogs, helping transform what is now a $29 billion poultry industry, died on Monday at his home in North Lansing, N.Y. He was 84.

The cause was a heart attack, said his son Dale.

Cornell University hired Dr. Baker in 1957 as a professor and as a liaison to growers and marketers. His mission was to find ways to persuade people to eat more poultry, rather than viewing chickens as just egg-laying machines or Sunday luxuries. He took them to places no bird had been before, including the sausage department.

It was part of a fundamental transformation of the poultry business. It was after World War II that plucked chickens became generally available in supermarkets, and prepackaged chicken parts arrived only in the late 1960's. Now more than 40 percent of chicken sales involve processed meat, like patties and nuggets.

Among the more than 50 chicken products that Dr. Baker and his team of technicians and graduate students developed were chicken baloney, chicken steak, chicken salami, chicken chili, chicken hash, chicken pastrami and chicken ham. He performed similar magic for turkeys and eggs, doing some of the earliest work on frozen omelets.

Part of the magic lay in extracting all the meat from the poultry carcass and reshaping it. In 1982, Forbes magazine credited Dr. Baker with having invented processed chicken in 1963. De-boning machines, which Dr. Baker helped develop, made the new shapes possible — even nuggets in the form of dinosaurs.

Just about all these foods found their way into supermarkets, though some took more than a decade to do so. The new products promised convenience to harried households, and they used chicken parts — including backs, necks and skin — that would otherwise have gone to waste.

"Robert Baker is something of a chicken Edison," The New York Times reported in 1984 in discussing the transformation of the industry.

Glenn Froning, professor emeritus of food science and technology at the University of Nebraska, said Dr. Baker's contributions ranged from basic research on microbiology to marketing strategies.

"He stimulated a lot of the early work in developing new products," Dr. Froning said.

Chicken hotdogs were a particular success, though naming them was problematic: in virtually equal numbers, women preferred "chicken franks," and men liked "bird dogs."

McDonald's is often given credit for inventing chicken nuggets in 1979, but the groundwork was laid by Dr. Baker's contributions in the 1960's in developing ways to bind chicken meat together and make the coating stick to the reconstituted meat.

McDonald's version sold. Dr. Baker's did not, but Cornell was interested only in promoting agriculture and shared its research freely in detailed bulletins and consultations. The professor said in an interview with The Ithaca Journal that he had particularly enjoyed his collaborations with Frank Perdue.

Among Dr. Baker's innovations were ways to barbecue chicken, helping establish what was for many people a new and enjoyable ritual. He went to every county in New York State to promote barbecued chicken, and sold it for many years at the annual state fair in Syracuse.

Robert Carl Baker was born on Dec. 29, 1921, in Newark, N.Y. His family scraped by on sporadic earnings from an orchard and 400 or so chickens. His mother made chicken and biscuits every Sunday.

Dr. Baker admitted that his experiences with poultry as a youth were far removed from today's mass-produced poultry products. He said to The Times:

"Some people say the flavor used to be better. I grew up on a farm. We'd chop the head off the chicken and it would bounce around the yard and lay there for a while before we picked it up; then we'd scoop it into a pail and it would lie in the house a bit before my mother would get around to cooking it. Probably it did taste different. But do you want to put up with that to get the taste?"

He received his bachelor's degree from Cornell in 1943, majoring in pomology, the science of fruits, and then got a master's in marketing from Pennsylvania State University. In 1957, he took a yearlong sabbatical to earn a Ph.D. in food science.

He joined Cornell's faculty in 1957, and in 1970 founded the university's Institute of Food Science and Marketing, of which he was director until 1975. It was here that he honed his awareness of the importance of naming foods.

For example, when students at Ithaca High School were served minced-fish-in-tomato-sauce, made from a trash fish, they revolted. But when Dr. Baker's team changed the name to sloppy Jonah, they loved it.

While in college, Dr. Baker met Jacoba Munson, whom he married in 1944. He often brought home a product he had invented for her to cook.

"Some of it was really bad," his son said, mentioning an early version of chicken bologna.

Dr. Baker is survived by his wife; his sons Dale, of Lansing, and Kermit, of Boston; his daughters Regina Robbins of Knoxville, Reenie Sandsted and Johanna Baker, both of Lansing, and Karen Applebee of Towanda, Pa.; 12 grandchildren; and two great-grandchildren.

Dale noted that there were still few chickens on the fruit farm his parents operated.

"I'm trying to figure out what to do with them," he said. "Do you want some chickens?"


Also, Ann Calvello, 76, a Legend in Roller Derby's Rowdy Rinks, Dies

Ann Calvello, whose bad-girl attitude, madcap makeup, polka-dot hair and savage style of play made her a legend in the flamboyantly indecorous sport-cum-circus that is roller derby, died on Tuesday at a hospital near her home in San Bruno, Calif. She was 76.

The cause was liver cancer, her partner, Bill Prieto, told The Associated Press.

To her fans, she was known as Banana-Nose, and as she outlasted other roller pioneers — skating in every decade from the 1940's to this one — Ms. Calvello was unofficially crowned the Roller Derby Queen. Other printable nicknames included Meanest Mama on Skates.

She embellished her image with a gift for colorful, often off-color, remarks. "Joe Namath is the Ann Calvello of football," she once said.

Roller derby epitomizes the corner of America's spirit where the flashy intersects with the tawdry. It began as a variation of Depression-era marathon dance contests, with skaters covering the distance between New York and Los Angeles, 57,000 laps on the banked track, in 40 days or more. As it was transformed into a professional sport, more or less, spectators crowded into arenas like Madison Square Garden or Oakland Coliseum to marvel at the spectacle of men and women crashing into one another at high speeds.

Roller derby, often compared to professional wrestling, became a popular feature on national television. In the 1972 movie "Kansas City Bomber," Raquel Welch seemed the consummate roller queen.

Ms. Calvello's importance to the sport is suggested by small articles in The New York Times during the 50's, 60's and 70's announcing that a roller-derby exhibition was coming. She was often the only player mentioned. She was honored by a documentary about her life made in 2001, "Demon of the Derby."

Ann Theresa Calvello was born in Newport, R.I., on Aug. 1, 1929. That made her a Leo, something she loved to emphasize with lion rings on every finger, lions on the frame of her glasses and eight tattoos, all lions. Her nickname for herself was the Lioness.

She developed a reputation for a rough-and-tumble, elbows-flying play, and was usually cast as a villain in the manner of pro wrestling. Often, she played opposite Joanie Weston, the showily goody-goody Blonde Bomber. Ms. Calvello relished the negative role, saying she preferred boos to cheers.

She got as good as she gave: her injuries included 12 broken noses, four broken elbows, a broken collarbone, a broken tailbone and numerous cracked ribs. When Indianapolis declared April 15, 1972, Ann Calvello Day, injuries kept her from attending.

In 1951, she met Roy Langley, a handsome referee, and she retired after they married the next year. In 1954, she left him and her baby to go back to the rink. The marriage, her only one, ended in divorce in 1956.

In addition to her partner, Ms. Calvello is survived by her daughter, Teri Conte, of Los Angeles, and two brothers, Tony and Joey Calvello.

Ms. Calvello's career took her to teams all over the country, from the San Francisco Bay Bombers to the Jersey Jolters, as well as to Australia. Her habit of wearing different colored skates, her varying hair colors — purple, green and polka-dot, to name three — and ultra-white white lipstick against skin tanned to deep chocolate became trademarks. Ms. Calvello skated with the original Roller Derby, which began in 1935, until its demise in 1973. She appeared in successor leagues and exhibitions into the 2000's. She felt unappreciated, to say the least.

"I've got too many knives in my back," she said in an interview with The Asbury Park Press in 2002. "Every time I go to the airport, all the knives in my back go off.

"You think I'm kiddin' ya?"

Finally, Peter Halasz, 62, Playwright Who Staged His Funeral as Theater, Is Dead
I have edited this one slightly.

Peter Halasz, a Hungarian-born avant-garde playwright, actor and director, who founded the Squat/Love Theater collective, an Off Off Broadway ensemble of the 1980's, died last Thursday at the home of a daughter in Brooklyn. He was 62 and lived in Budapest and Staten Island.

Mr. Halasz died just a month after staging his own funeral on Feb. 6 at an art museum in Budapest, where he was born. The Berlin newspaper Tagesspiegel reported that he had himself enclosed in a glass coffin for a final farewell to friends and hundreds of theater fans.

"I'm curious how a funeral looks from the other side," Mr. Halasz told the BBC World Service's "Outlook" program as he prepared for what he termed his last appearance. "I want to take a look at my friends and listen to the eulogies."

Peter Halasz was considered a pioneer of the free-spirited theater scene in Hungary, arousing the suspicions of Communist cultural functionaries with the first theater company he founded in 1966. Barred from performing in public in 1972, he took his players underground to perform, mostly in private homes. The ensemble left Hungary in 1976, and after a stopover in Western Europe, settled in Manhattan the next year, associating for a time with Andy Warhol and taking cues from happenings and conceptual performance art of the time.

The collective became known as Squat and received attention with award-winning pieces like "Mr. Dead and Mrs. Free." Two other well-known productions in its repertory were "Pig, Child, Fire!" and "Andy Warhol's Last Love."

Another noted production was "She Who Once Was the Helmet-Maker's Beautiful Wife," by Mr. Halasz and Seth Tillett, first staged in 1992 at the Performing Garage in SoHo.

With the fall of Communism in his native country, Mr. Halasz spent more time there in the theater and, in recent years, won prizes in independent European film productions.

These days, I've been too busy looking for a new job and going to amazing pizza parties to write any new content in this space. In the meantime, marvel at the fascinating dead folks.

Monday, March 20, 2006

A Sad Day for Korea

But I really liked this player, for obvious reasons.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Job Fair

This evening, I went to a Job Fair at my former grad school. I got a ride there with the L.S. Head (still haven't quite figured out a nickname for him yet), the Learning Specialist, and Jamaican Queen. They were going there to recruit teachers. I was going to see what was out there.

It was a fun drive as I was made fun of for a good portion of it for leaving (maybe) next year. How can I leave such a fun environment at my school? L.S. Head made many a joke about trying to sabotage me or dumping me in the Gowanus on the way so I couldn't leave. I guess if they can't keep me, no one can have me right?

After parking and watching the pregnant Learning Specialist run across the street in front of traffic, we entered the packed grad school lobby. I helped them by carrying a bag of things they had brought for the Fair. Upon arriving, I gave them their stuff back. Much like a single guy hanging out with a platonic female friend and worrying that that might ruin his chances for action, I didn't want any school to be misled!

The Fair was way too crowded and cramped for me. I wanted to get the hell out of there after five minutes. Maybe I'll just stay at my school if this is the kind of shit I'll have to put up with to get a job. A lot of freshly scrubbed kids just about to get their masters mingled and networked.

I stopped in at the school that is housed and shares the same name as my grad school. It is a great school, a school I'd love to work at. The drawbacks are twofold. It is really far away and it is still a private school. So what's the point? Still, I dropped off my resume and was told that I would be called next week to possibly set up an interview.

I talked to a few public schools but it seemed like it was mostly charter schools there - no one was really there that I really wanted to talk to.

I saw a scary fifty-something teacher who used to teach at the pre-school I worked at in the late 90's upon first arriving in NY. She used to give me the creeps because it was pretty obvious she wanted a piece of the 24-year-old Listmaker. I chose to try to avoid her. Which I successfully did.

I kept looking over at my colleagues to see how things were going for them. I felt like an ex-boyfriend who runs into an ex-girlfriend a week after breaking up. Hell, it felt like a high school dance and I wanted to keep seeing what the ex was up to. I couldn't help but feel that all of the people they were talking to sucked and weren't worth wasting their time on.



I spoke to a person from the NY Board of Ed who reminded me of Marge Simpson's chainsmoking sisters. She was completely unhelpful and I felt like she gave me crap advice. I didn't trust her agenda. She was there to recruit for problem districts and was coy about giving me answers to my questions.



All in all, it was an interesting experience. I don't deny that I've got The Melancholy or that I am having a really difficult time sleeping these days. And so it goes. Looking forward to Spring Break.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Obsessing Over My Job Situation Isn't the Only Thing I Can Think About

Red Sticker Collection
The Replacements - All For Nothing, Nothing For All, 1997
Kind of a useless best of major label stuff on the A side and discarded leftovers on the B side. Notable for the fact that Amy W gave this to Youthlarge back when she worked at Warner’s.

Rilo Kiley - The Execution of all Things, 2002
Why didn’t I like this band when I first heard them? Youthlarge played them for me when we first started dating and it didn’t do much for me. What was I thinking? This is the beauty of the Red Sticker Collection. Long lost gems are rediscovered on the way to the scrap heap. Jenny Lewis' vocals make me ache, her melodies are glorious, and any songwriter who writes a lyric about selling all of one’s baseball cards to pay the rent is alright in my book. Even the male vocalist who seems to spend too much time audtioning to play the role in The Elliott Smith Story works for me.

Somebody likes showing off her underwear.

The Minus 5 - Old Liquidator, 1995
Sometimes it seems Scott McCaughey is the kind of guy who hangs out with only the most popular kids at the school. If Peter Buck is cool, then sign him up. If Wilco is the place to be, bring them down. Colin Meloy gets all the indie girls weak at the knees? Amen, brother.

Then again, McCaughey keeps adding to his stable of friends so I can’t fault him for that. Hell, if any of his winning ways with a melody found their way into Pete Buck’s head, maybe R.E.M. wouldn’t be so damn awful these days.

Anyway, this is the first Minus 5 record. Like all of them, I enjoy them when they are on and would never feel the need to turn it off. Still, I don’t think I would ever buy one of their records. But for a Red Sticker Collection listen, I’m a big fan.

Youthlarge Brought These Home
Caribou - The Milk of Human Kindness, 2005
Where the last record (recorded under the name Manitoba) reminded me at the time of My Bloody Valentine, this one reminds of a bunch of things - Stereolab, DJ Shadow, to name a couple. This album is awfully pleasant but nothing about it screams out brilliance to me.

Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have it So Much Better, 2005
Every drum fill is perfect. Every vocal is stupendous. Every guitar lick is right on the money. Slick but produced to sound not so slick. The perfect IT band for the scruffy Upper West Sider in us all. Give the man the finger while sipping your Starbucks, baby! I actually quite enjoy this band but I suspect they are taking themselves just a wee bit too seriously these days.

Bob Dylan - No Direction Home, 2005
The companion two CD to the Scorcese documentary. Some interesting outtakes and live performances here but to me this is strictly for completists. Although it does have a nice range of his material of the early part of his career.

Quasi - When the Going Gets Dark, 2006
Just can’t get into this band. Does that mean I hate indie rock?

Boredoms - Seadrum/ House of Sun, 2004
Reminds me a lot of that 00I00 album. I dig this. Why don’t I have more Boredoms? This is all I have. I haven’t even heard that much of their stuff. I almost feel like I was freaked out by them twelve years ago and never really revisited them as they continued to put out record after record.

Boredoms, why have I forsaken you for so long? What else should I get?

Actually Purchased by Me
The Best of the Staple Singers
Doesn’t disappoint. Makes me want to hear some of their earlier less secular stuff. These are the kind of jams that makes it feel like life in the late 60’s and early 70’s was all sunshine and hopscotch.

Borrowed and Burned
Willie Nelson - Yesterday’s Wine, 1971
How the hell did I manage to have an amazing best of Willie Nelson and not have anything else? Wow. I borrowed this from Dave and Jen and immediately fell in love with it. A concept album of one man’s life with lots of religion in the mix, this album will break your heart. This is the beginning. Consider me officially obsessed with Willie.

Gifts
Bob Dylan - LIve 1964
This show was recorded at Carnegie Hall. It is pretty incredible to hear an entire live performance from this era. He was all loosey goosey and jovial even. Joan Baez does her best to muck up some of the performances and it is no wonder that shortly after this show, Dylan put an end to performing with her. A Youthlarge Hanukkah in the Christmas stocking gift.

What a sexpot.

The Rolling Stones - Dusty Old Bones
Jeremy made me this best of his vinyl. All early to mid 60’s - sex and sweat drenched. I was already familiar with all of these songs but all put together in a personal best of, they sound fresh again. And all the snaps and crackles and shit from the records are the way this was meant to be listened to. Perfect.

Blues Comp
A number of years ago, parents of a student gave me a number of old blues records that they had put onto CD. I’ve slowly been making my way through them and there is some fantastic stuff. I finally really got to listen to a number of Charley Patton songs. This disc also features Son House, Tommy Johnson, Peetie Wheatstraw, and the Mississippi Sheiks. I hadn’t even heard of the latter three. Wheatstraw might even be my favorite of the bunch with his piano boogie stomps. Listen to one of them

I've got to get this book.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Undecided

The due date for signing my contract is this Monday. I've been told by Red Pants that starting on that day, they will begin looking to replace me. However, if they find someone they like, I will be given one last chance to decide. Ideally, I'd have until after the upcoming spring break to decide. But it looks like I won't be given that option.

I could just sign the contract and break it later but I refuse to do that even though many people do that. I just don't play by those rules.

So I'm completely confused. I have found out that percentage-wise, I did receive the largest raise in the entire school. I now am close to what I should be getting paid. Red Pants will not negotiate but the amazing L.S. Director said that he will do everything in his power to give me a big raise again next spring once we have a new Head. I began this year ready to leave but things have really turned around under the leadership of Mondale's countryman.

Still, I am feeling the itch to leave. I'm probably just using this money issue as an excuse to do what is probably the best thing for me. As one colleague asked me, "Do you really want to be a private school teacher your whole career? Part of that good 'ol boy network?" And the answer is no. If I don't leave this year, will it become increasingly easier to stay, especially if the incoming Head gives me another big raise next year?

I can always leave and then come back. If I don't leave, I'll always be thinking "What If?"

But that doesn't mean, I have to leave this year. I really love the people I work with. I'm happy. Why fuck with it? I'm not guaranteed a job at a good public school. What if end up miserable next year?

By saying that I'm not ready for an extension, I might have bought myself until Tuesday. Or maybe later. Who knows?

All I know is that tonight is the school auction and I plan on getting toasted.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

When I Was Ten, I Liked Magnum P.I. A Lot

Get ready for some fifth grader rock, tentatively booked at Southpaw on 4/23.

The young carefree 4th grade days.



A sneak preview MP3

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I Kind of Like The World Baseball Classic

Okay, so some superstars aren't playing. And some of the players are rusty.

But color me convinced. March games that are interesting.

And how about that Korean team beating Japan the other day? I love it.

I almost bought this Dominican Republic cap the other day. Mondale almost convinced me.


If it weren't for the fact that it had the dumb popping up arch, I might have bought it. Plus, the R being in front of the D wasn't quite the effect I was looking for on the "Wearing Your Initials On a Hat" style.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Oscars

Balgavy topped himself yet once again. Last night, he continued his undisputed run as The King of Parties Where the Host is Allowed to Sit Down.

Crash song

Land of the Dead video game

The night was an interesting one. Both Balgavy's and my work pools came down to the wire. Chris Larry had some amazing quips. Some of the highlights:

On the chances of that pimp song winning the Oscar - "Eminem already won. Oscar's rap hymen has been broken. I think it can win."

On Dolly Parton - "She could have played the lead in Transamerica."

During the montage for Original Score - "Geez, why don't they just do the awards in Latin?"

On Penelope Cruz - "She's so not hot, guys. Right? She's the kind of woman that women think is what we think is hot but so isn't."

On P.T. Anderson - "He sucks! Boogie Nights is like a Quentin Tarantino made for TV movie."

On what sucks more, Crash or Magnolia - "Magnolia! The raining frogs are the tipoff."

During a scene of Joaquin and Reese singing together - "The dead can't defend themselves."

When Crash took Best Picture - "Hollywood will always give itself a reacharound. This doesn't surprise me."

So Crash won. Oh well. Whatever. The Oscars are a joke anyway. I haven't even seen the movie. But for an interesting discourse on the subject, check out film critic Matt Zoller Seitz's blog.

When it was all said and done, we had two co-winners, Mitch and Mike.


The winners and the amazing host.

The night began to wind down.


But wait! Justin thought that he had also won! Jamie began the investigation.

While Jamie determined that Justin was wrong, I took the time to photograph some of Balgavy's amazing handiwork. Not only had he plastered the place with Variety ads, he had framed some nice postcards.

Constant Handwashings


Just when we thought it was safe to call it a night, one of the two lawyers in attendance let Jamie know that maybe Justin had indeed won. You can't fool a lawyer.

Dave declared a three way for first! Jamie called for order.

The other lawyer, Anne, was called into service.


The mistake was corrected. Three winners! Two of them looked a little less happy than earlier in the evening.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Strat-O-Matic and Samosas


Does life get any better?