You should get a paper route. Its the only way you'll be able to guarantee the on-time delivery, structural integrity, and non-theft of your NYT.
What is up with you and the papers? Did you like torture a kid with a paper route when you were younger? Is this comeuppance:)?
Next time, go grab your paper. Take it home. Poop on it. Roll it and put it back. They might steal it again, but only one more time.
usually, people that find old posts of mine and then post anonymously post obscenity laced tirades at me. you, on the other hand, are all class. i wish i knew who you were. i think we would be friends.
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