It all began innocently enough the other day at recess.
Bumblebee Girl came up to me with two of her friends and was looking at my fingernails. She told me that I needed a manicure. I told her that SHR kept telling me the same thing. Some kids, of course, are rude. Bumblebee Girl is not. She is cute and sweet. But she also tells it like it is. So I asked her what else I needed. And I kept asking. And asking. And asking.
1. I need to trim my nose hair.
2. I need to trim my eyebrows. I mean, Bumblebee Girl's eyebrows are thick but mine are out of control!
3. I need to trim my ear hair.
4. I'm too old to wear the kind of sneakers (black Sauconys) I was wearing.
5. I shouldn't pull my socks up so high. I told her that I pushed them down when I wore shorts but this didn't persuade her.
6. I have a pointy nose.
7. I shouldn't put anything in my front shirt pocket. I had put a paper clip in there during recess as I checked some papers.
8. I should dye my hair.
9. My arms were so hairy that I looked like a gorilla.
Ouch! I asked her if I had so many things wrong with me, how did I ever get SHR to marry me? Without hesitating, she smiled and said, "She must have been drawn to your big 'ol unibrow."
Girl Who Loves Sparkly Clothes said, "Maybe she married you because she wanted to fix you and all of those bad things!"
New Girl guessed, "Maybe she's just weird?"
Bumblebee Girl did admit that she liked the penguin on my shirt as well as my Mets cap. I guess that's something.
1 day ago