October is the month of Conkers. 2005 and 2006 saw Mr. Mondale and Mr. Boss Man face off against each other. In 2007, Mr. Mondale left the country (something about getting caught running a pyramid scheme) and it was left to me to fight the good fight against Mr. Boss Man.
Mr. Boss Man has had a lifetime to prepare for the battle. I had a few scattered skirmishes in '05 and that's about it. Mr. Boss Man supplied me with my conker.
We battled. I didn't do so well at first but then I got better. Then he became frustrated and switched his Conker mid battle to a huge proven King Conker. A bit shifty, don't you think?
Anyway, this video is a compilation of the highlights of the three years of battles. The first half is what I presented to the children assembled to watch the blood sport to pump them up and get them rooting for me. The second half is my recent creation culled from the footage that MacTechWitch shot.
To this day, I have a class of first graders obsessed with me because of this match. When I walk past their classroom, I hear them call out to each other "Mr. Listmaker just walked by. Mr. Listmaker just walked by!"
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9 comments:
Isn't there some kind of protective gear you can equip yourselves with? Its a barbaric game! Too fun:)
" Then he became frustrated and switched his Conker mid battle to a huge proven King Conker. A bit shifty, don't you think?"
Are you serious?
Did he actually switch his conker mid fight?
If what you say is true this is slightly more serious than an 18 minute gap on the Oval office taping system.
Please confirm your incredible allegation.
it's all true. check the videotape.
Next year you should don a viking helmet and a fur cape and dub yourself Krull the Conkerer.
Entre nous: not strictly within the rules but you could try soaking one in vinegar prior to next year's contest. Toughens up the conker meat, you see. Very rum practice, but probably acceptable from an American (what with your professional athletes, second place is for ninnies, HGH and all that).
Remind me to loan boss man my Arrid Extra Dry for Conkers 08.
ouch!
I've looked into this, asked the children at school, and have drawn the following conclusions.
Your boss cheated.
You are the rightful winner of Conker 07.
He should renounce his title and there should be a rematch (at least) or you should claim the title (which would be easier).
The children in my class were aghast that this incident happened. They were amazed that he would try such a tactic
Quotes from the kids.
"what? he swopped his conker?"
" How could he ever lose?"
" He would just keep changing his conker until he beat every conker in the world"
"Wait a minute? he did this in front of an assembly?"
"Is it OK to call a headmaster a massive cheat?"
"It would be like getting a substitue boxer halfway through a boxing match"
There, you have my opinion, the opinion of the kids I teach. Your boss cheated.
There was a light moment. The children were baffled about how such a thing could happen. Then I explained that the boss was British but he was fighting an American who had never really fought before.
"oh, an American".
yeah, he even said he did it so i could beat him since his conker was so old it would fall apart easily! i knew what he was up to though!
did you watch the video? did you like the fairy dust effect on your picture?
Freakin loved the video! I want you to make more videos of me!
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